WTF

Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you are gonna get… – Tom Hanks in FORREST GUMP.


Life, many a time, gives us instances to be happy and the rest of the times, it makes us say ”W T F!”…

So I was thinking about the instances that screw our brains… this is not an exhaustive list… I have tried my best to jot down what the moments when our brains get screwed…

You might want to shout out loud “WTF” when….:

1) You spend the whole day with your girlfriend/boyfriend and after an almost sleepless night you wake up with a Beep of your mobile. You smile and take the mobile in your hand and expect a sweet SMS from her/him and find out the SMS – VX-CITIBANK-Your credit card bill worth 15,835 has been dispatched to your address!

2) The recession is over, the company profits are amazing, the number of the projects coming into company is increasing and still the CEO of your company announces “There will be no increments this year. We are doing this so that if we get hit by a recession next year, we should be able to sustain ourselves”.

3) You are standing on the railway platform waiting for a train. You let 5 trains go hoping that the 6th train would be empty enough to let you in. But then you meet the same fate for the 6th train as you met for the earlier 5!

4) You spend 3 years in a company. You had worked really hard. You expected a promotion, increment and an Onsite opportunity. But then, your company gets bankrupt because of recession and leave aside promotion, increment and Onsite opportunity, you reach a stage when you forward your resume to all your friends and still end up not changing the company for 6 months! Extra 6 months of frustrations!

5) Election day arrives. One set of Politicians tries it best to convince why they are lesser evil than the other parties. You think twice before voting. Finally you choose to give vote to a very educated, promising and honest independent candidate. You go the voting booth, stand in the queue for 2 hrs under the sun and then when the elections are declared you find your candidate being bought by the party you hated the most …

6) It is a stormy night. The lightning keeps scaring you. Your desktop does not have a UPS. You are supposed to give a PPT to your CEO the next day. A very big day for you. You work on the PPT for the whole night. You save your PPT but then unfortunately, a surge of lightning crashes the mother board of your desktop. You end up SMSing your boss – I am suffering from typhoid. Won’t be able to come to office. … And then the colleague you hate the most ends up giving an amazing PPT to the CEO!

7) Your locality never faces a water cut. So you never care to store water. You go to have a bath. You turn on the shower and lather your body with soap. Suddenly, the shower betrays you. No water to wash even your eyes. You take the towel and rub your eyes and come out and end up using the only source of water that was available in the house – drinking water in the Matkaa!

8) You shift to a new company hoping that you would encounters babes or beautiful girls. You start imagining scenes were you are the Krishna of all the babes in the new company. Finally, you end up being a part of a 40 member team which has only 8 girls and out of those 8 girls 7 are married and the rest 1 girl has recently got engaged to someone!

9) Your BF/GF had told you to come ONLINE at 4.00 in the evening to chat. There is a blast in your nearby electric-house. You are not able to access your PC. You rush to a nearby cyber café to find out that you have to wait for at least 40 minutes to log on and chat with you GF/BF. At 5.00 PM, the BF/GF gets frustrated of waiting for you and assumes that you are no more interested in the relationship!

10) You are given an Onsite opportunity to USA. You are damn happy. You give your friends a lavish party because you know that you will now earn in dollars. You do a lot of shopping. You pack your bags and take blessings from elders. Your neighbours come and greet you and tell you that they are very proud of you. The next day just as you are about to leave for the airport, you get a call from your boss – “hi XYZ, I am sorry to tell you that the project has been scrapped. Sorry”… next day, you become the talk of the building! (this is a true incident. It happened to one of my friends!!)

11) You to a fancy restaurant with your GF. You both eat happily. The bill comes to around rs. 2000. You pull out your wallet from your pocket. You try to search for the credit card, only to find out that your mom had taken the credit card from your wallet the previous day because she doesn’t believe in living on credit. You try to search for any cash. Later on you come to know that your dear sister was in dire need of money, so she had taken the cash from your wallet. Now you just smile at your GF and ask her if she can loan you rs.2000!!!!

12) You buy a DVD from a CD-DVD wala on the footpath near station. You were told that the DVD had latest hindi movies. You go home and your mom and dad tell you that they would like to see the new hindi movies with you. You gladly put the DVD in the DVD player. All of a sudden, something-which you never want to see in front of your parents – pops up! Your parents stare at you. you try your best to explain them that goof-up happened not your end. You trusted the DVDwala. You would wish Dharti maataa tumhe nigal le…!!!

13) You are sitting with your Girlfriend in a park. there is no noise pollution. because of some pulses or Chana that you had for lunch, gases start getting generated in your digestive system. Needless to say there is only one outlet for those gases twirling in your stomach. Tactfully you try to give those gases a passage..so that there is minimum noise. But, unfortunately, you happen to sneeze and you fart out loud!!!!!.... you can't do anything except wish that your GF were deaf!!!