Last month while I was alighting from the rickshaw, I gave the driver a rs. 10 ka note. Abruptly he said “uncle, chutta do naa”. I got angry and asked him if looked like uncle. He apologized and said “sorry dost, raat hai na abhi… to andhere mein samjaa nahi”…I blamed the lack of light on this fiasco.
Last month, I was talking to an old classmate(female) of mine. We were standing near the bus-stop. A small urchin came by and started begging. She looked at me and said “uncle, kuch khaane ko do…ek do rupyaa do…”. I took out the wallet from my pocket and was about to give her a 2 rupee coin. Just then she looked at my friend and said “didi, kuch khane ko”…. This was the height! My friend- my classmate was called “didi” and I was addressed as “uncle”. I got furious and kept the 2 rupee coin back in my wallet.
(The above 2 situations are imaginary. They have been added just to give a context to my article :D)
Advantages of being fat :
1) You never have to sit beside the rickshaw driver. Like, suppose that the back seats have already been occupied and then you(a fat person) approach the rickshaw. The rickshawwala will give you a wild look. You would wonder what evil you have to done to deserve such a dreaded glance. Then he will request one the guys sitting in the back seat to sit beside him and you can easily enjoy the ride to home in a FULL seat!
2) Similarly, when you travel in train, when you sitting on the 3rd seat, no one tell you “bhaisaab, thoda andar ho jao”; because he knows that even if u move a little bit, the newly created space wouldn’t be sufficient even to keep a quarter of his butt!
3) As children, when you are fat and chubby, you grab a lot of eyeballs. The thin ones keep being jealous of you. The thin ones will complain to their moms about being neglected. Their moms tell them to read point number 3 of the “Disadvantages of being fat” section!
4) You should feel happy that you represent the KHAATAA-PEETAA family! You are symbolic of the wealth that a family possesses. Be happy!
5) You have higher chances of getting a lead role in diaper commercials where sweet chubby-chubby kids are required. Not the bichara-lukdu-sukdu ones!
6) You don’t need to learn karate or any other fight art because ur sheer size would be sufficient to terrorize anyone!
7) As children, you get to go into the hands of lot many beautiful girls than do the lukdu-sukdu ones! Needless to say, beautiful girls would like to play with someone who is chubby-chubby, with cute-cute cheeks, with sweet smile, whom they can keep saying “allle…gulllu….maaru cutu cutu….alle alle….cho chweet…” Needless to say, your moms would be proud of you. Unfortunately, the lukdu-sukdu ones don’t have these pleasures!
8) Being huge or fat, you can easily bully others and try to create a macho-impression on the beautiful girls of your class.
Disadvantages of being fat:
1) Agreed, that you never have to sit beside the rickshaw driver; but suppose amongst the 3 passengers sitting in the back seats, there are 2 beautiful girls and 1 OK types lukdu-sukdu boy. When that bichara thin guy is made to sit on the front and you-the huge beast- are made to sit beside the beautiful girls, then I am sure they might start to think – “kitnaa motaa hai be...acche se baithe they hum log…ayaa gaya…bachpan mein aunty ne bhookha rakhna chaiye tha mote ko… to aaj acchese baithneko hota tha….!” I am sure that their hidden disgruntlement would surface on their faces. Needless to say, you will keep feeling guilty of upsetting beautiful girls (if the girls were shantaa-kantaa types, then it is OK…give a damn!)
2) Agreed that when you travel in train, when you are sitting on the 3rd seat, no one tell you “bhaisaab, thoda andar ho jao”. But can you imagine the amount of HAAY you must be getting because you are occupying the seats of the 2 ordinary people. You pay the same fare and still you don’t get a place to sit because of your big butt! You would be a lucky to not know Marathi if you are travelling in Mumbai! You would easily hear words like “jaadyaa kuthlaa..baslaay aaraamat…nusti charbi bharli aahe ye maansaat….aaine khup ghatlay shariraat… chyaa aila hyachyaaa…!!”
3) Agreed that as children, when you are fat and chubby, you grab a lot of eyeballs. But the same eyeballs will start avoiding you once you are young. Beautiful girls want handsome, slim and fit guys! Not diaper-heroes or farex-babies!
4) Practically if you see, being KHATAA-PEETAA is a bane these days. I mean, being obese is the last thing you would ask for from God.
5) Diaper commercials form the least part of all the advertisements on TV. Rest of the Ads have smart, fit, thin boys as their stars!
6) Even though you think you can bully others by your sheer size, the lukdu-sukdu ones can surely make u run like hell and take all the energy out of you!
7) The moments spent as a small child are not registered that prominently in the brains. So when you are handsome and fit in your youth, you will many more chances to impress babes than will fat, chubby guys get!
8) Sometimes, girls like well-mannered boys and not bullies who keep showing their power. So in such cases, being a fat kid would surely be of no help!
All in all, the best fit for a human being is to be chubby in childhood and fit and thin in youth and later on!... this is what I feel !!.... :-D
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