Jan Gan Man Adhinanayak Jay hai….

 

This blog has been written to propagate a fantastic video made on The National Anthem of our country. It is the best video ever based on our anthem. It’s made by Mudra Communication. The theme of this video is that there is no language of patriotism. There were tears in my eyes when I watched this video. I must have watched it at least 20-30 times since yesterday. It has been beautifully shot and wonderfully executed. If you are a true Indian, then please do watch this video. In fact I strongly believe that this is the anthem that should be played in movie theaters.

 

Corruption…God save India!

God save this country, because none of the departments in this country seems to be free of corruption. IAS, IPS, IRS, politicians, government officers, everyone!!!!!!!!! I mean, what the fuck is going on? I sincerely feel that corruption has become so rampant and integral part of our lives that it’s almost impossible to root out corruption.

I feel that corruption exists because of our impatience. It starts at a very basic level. Suppose if a normal process takes 5 days to happen, we are so impatient that we want it to happen in 3 days. We are ready to pay (read bribe) extra rs.500 so that we don’t have to wait. Out of that Rs.500, Rs.200 goes to the top-most officer, Rs.100 to the one beneath him and so and so forth. You keep bribing Rs. 500 for a few years and then one fine day you are told “saab, mehengai badh gayi hai… petrol, kaandaa,etc ka rate double ho gaya hai..…abhi Rs.1000 lagenge.” You twitch your face and ponder for a few moments. You take out rs.1000 and then your work is done. The greed for money has now increased and now that corrupt officer knows that for that particular work, one is ready to pay rs.1000. So, subsequent ordinary people are asked to bribe Rs. 1000 for the same work that could have been done for rs.500! With time, that bribe keeps increasing and one fine day you realize that you are the one who spoiled the “kids”! But unfortunately there is no returning back to getting your work done for less than Rs.500. The point is that it is we – the ones who want to break the line – who are the reason for corruption. The one who is giving a bribe is more committing a bigger crime than the one who is taking the bribe. A few steps that might reduce corruption:

1) Plan your things properly: It is we who should be more organized so that we don’t have to be in a hurry to get our work done in less than the expected time. Let’s suppose you a kid aged 17 years and 11 months and you are a Car or bike freak. You know that you are going to get a driver’s license in a month’s time. Then for god sakes, start your driving license process a month prior to getting 18 and not JUST a week ago by paying extra (read bribe). Plan your things properly.

2) Don’t jump the queue: everyone who comes to a government office to get work done has the same amount of haste as you do. His work is as important to him as it is to you.

3) Value your money: As I have said earlier too, corruption starts at a very basic level and with a a very small amount. There are tens of departments that you will need to go to to have your work done. Even if you pay at least Rs.200 at every department, then you can safely assume that annually you would be shelling out Rs. 5000 in total. (of course, this is just an approximate). I am sure that you can think of better ways to spend that Rs. 5000.

4) Think about others too:  People who take bribes don’t have hearts. They don’t differentiate much between rich and poor. For example, if you want a telephone connection, chances are high that you won’t be spared because you are not rich. If some rich person has set a standard of bribing Rs.1000 for a connection in 10 days, be sure that you too would be expected to shell out the same amount. So, it’s all about the highest value set by someone for an illegal work to be done! Think about others too!

Needless to say, all above tips are applicable to me too!… Readers, do come up with simple and practical tips…

15 hours at Infosys Pune!

Just to give you a background of why I am talking about infosys pune – In the last month at Mphasis, I had 2 offers in hand – one from Infosys Pune and other from Citiustech Mumbai. Needless to say, the brand name of Infosys lured me to leave aside the more lucrative (in terms of salary in hand) at Citiustech. I had heard a lot about Infosys , the facilities, the swimming pool, badminton, TT, tennis,etc. at Infosys. So, I denied the  offer from Citiustech and went to Pune. I had to join Infosys on 13 december morning 9.00. So, I packed my bags and reached the Infy guest house on 12th december evening 5.30. Just as i reached Infy Pune’s guest house, i started feeling that i did something wrong. I had left my mom alone at home and would have to meet her only at weekends if i chose to stay at infy (the option of taking mom to pune wasn’t as feasible as it seems). Also, i missed Mumbai! kitna bhi traffic, pollution ,etc. ho, mumbai is mumbai! So, i called up the HR of Citiustech and informed her that i would join Citiustech from 15th dec and told the HR of infosys that i wouldnt join Infy the next day!…

The point of writing all this is that there is nothing wrong in changing your decision. I know that many would have thought ki “kya pagal hai ye, decision leneko hi nahi hua”. But, trust me, after this incidence, i dont feel even a bit of hesitance in saying that i did nothing wrong in changing my decision to come back to mumbai. Ultimately, what is important is that you should be happy with your decision. The outcome of a decision has to make you happy. There is no point in being the “one-decision-final-decision” kind of a person. The society looks down upon those who dont stick to their decisions. Circumstances change in no time and the decision that you had taken a day ago can go ‘wrong’. Don’t be shy from changing your decision. This applies to almost everything in life… be it marraige, job, etc. Now that i have taken the example of marriage -  the normal indian tradition is 1) meeting of parents 2) meeting of the boy and girl 3) engagement within no time and 4) marriage… Its very difficult to know a person in the time frame that a couple is allowed before engagement. So, even if either of the couple is hesitant to go ahead with the relationship, due to the societal norms they have to keep their decision intact. They then commit to get married and finally a day comes when the elastic of endurance snaps! and then you realise that you took ‘some’ wrong decision in life. but its too late then! The point here is that if you foresee a problem, then don’t think about what the world says, just go ahead and change your decision. I know that there would be millions who would say “aise to fir kabhi shaadi hi nahi hogi”. But, i feel that living  a life in a bad relationship is far worse than living it alone! Being a Sharhrukh khan fan, i am reminded of his words from the movie “kuch kuch hota hai” - “hum jeete hai ek baar..hum marte bhi hai ek baar… aur shaadi bhi ek hi baar karte hai…”. Atleast i am this kind of a person and that is why i say that if you feel you are stuck with the wrong person, then change the decision of spending your life with that person… you are not OBLIGATED to the society in any damn way! Make a decision that makes you happy!…

A few lessons in life…

Recently a few things happened in my life and that is why they have made me sit down and introspect as to where I have gone wrong in life and it is time for me to learn from my mistakes… and I thought that it would be good if you all can learn a few things from what I have learnt in my life… btw, after reading this blog, you might start judging me. But it is ok for me, as long as you learn something from this blog… btw, this blog is about what I have learnt from my mistakes and others’ too!...

1) Respect your parents: Day before yesterday, I was standing at a bus-stop and there was a poor woman who was lying on the bench of the bus-stop on the other side of the road. She was shivering. Her son, around 5 yrs old, was not able to figure out what needed to be done. A middle-class person standing nearby took pity on that poor woman and gave a 20-rupee note to that small kid and told him to get some tea and biscuit for his mother. That small kid ran to the nearest kirana-store to get some biscuit. While returning, he got some tea too. The tea was packed in a small plastic and he had 2 empty glasses in hand. Being so small, he wasn’t able to pour the tea from plastic into those 2 tea-cups. He tried once to pour that hot tea into tea-cups. But, his little fingers got scathed and then his mother got up with great difficulty and poured tea and then they ate a few biscuits. After eating one biscuit, that small boy started massaging her mother’s forehead. The poor woman, after eating a few biscuits, slept for a while. That small kid made sure that his mother’s body was properly covered with her dupatta.

I was so moved by that episode that it has changed me for good. Being the creators of our lives, parents deserve respect and love from us. I guess, when we become parents someday, we would realize this ourselves…

2) Never break your friend’s trust: A month ago I did something I repented for a month long! I broke my friend’s trust. I will not go into the details of what happened and all, rather I would jot down what I learnt from that mistake of mine.

a) Every friendship demands a level of trust and make sure that you never do anything that would make the trust go down below that level.

b) Treat the other person how she/he wants to be treated and not the way you want to treat them.

c) Friendship is like a piece of cloth. Once it tears apart, it is very difficult to get it into its original form. Only in the rarest of rare cases can the friendship come into its original form. (I am happy that in my case, the things are as normal as it were earlier; in fact better than earlier because I know that I am not going to make the same mistake again!)

d) Don’t try to test the elasticity of your friendship. Every friendship has a set of untold barriers and rules. Respect them. As they say, there is no use crying over spilt milk! Watch while the milk is boiling so that it doesn’t spill over!

3) Know when to ‘give up’: In one of my earlier blogs, I had written about the importance of never giving up. I would like to mention that the “never give up” principle doesn’t work in everything in life. Know where to give up and where not to give up! Chasing mirages never helps!

4) Be free from OCD (obsessive compulsive disorders): Many people in this world suffer from OCDs. OCDs can be related to your anger, kindness, etc. I have an OCD of helping people. I am not trying to blow my own trumpet, but I feel an obsessive compulsion to help people. Like for example, if some GRE-aspirant asks for little guidance regarding GRE, I go to the extent of sharing my phone number and charting out a GRE-Preparation plan for that person. At times, I even call up that GRE-aspirant and ask about the status of his/her preparation! I mean, this is height! I don’t know why I should care for some stranger! I am working on this OCD of helping people. The problem with this OCD is that many people start devaluing you for this kind attitude. People start feeling “isko to kuch kaam dhandha hi nahi…pagal hai ye jo kisi stranger ke liye itna fight maar raha hai”…I now help only 2 out 10 people who approach me for help! If you have such OCD, pls rethink about it! It might land you in some trouble, someday!

Ek Lau Is Tarah Kyun Bujhi Mere Maula….

“Ek Lau Is Tarah..” is a song from the movie AAMIR. This is my most favorite song ever! mainly because of the meaning and the soft background music… The first time i heard this song was at the time of 26/11 Mumbai attacks. There used to be a video that showed the carnage of the terrorist attack and then at the end there used to be a list of martyrs that scrolled up on the screen… all this had this beautiful song as the backdrop …

Almost every time i listen to this song, i have tears in my eyes… life is so fragile… i mean, you are sitting in TAJ hotel, having a lavish dinner with your friends and someone all of a sudden drops a bomb on your hotel and you are taken hostage and then killed for no fault of yours…!… It is so difficult to accept a heart-rending conclusion for no mistake of yours…

I just want to dedicate this to all those who lost their lives, whose families were destroyed, those who are injured and perhaps crippled forever, for the city, for all the citizens, for all those who were affected in any manner. This should not have happened. I pray for everyone affected…

 

(Song has been written by Amit Trivedi, from the soundtrack of Aamir, sung by Shilpa Rao)

 

Ek Lau Is Tarah Kyun Bhuji Mere Maula…

(Why was a flare extinguished like this, my Lord…)

Gardishon Mein Rehti, Behti Guzarthi,

Zindagi Aahein Kitni…

(Struggling through dark clouds, flowing, passing by,

There are so many lives [being lived]…)

In Mein Se Ek Hai, Teri Meri Agni,

Koi Ek Jaisi Apni…

(Your life and my life is just one flame amongst all of these)

Par Khuda Khair Kar, Aisa Anjaam Kisi Rooh Ko,

Na De Kabhi Yahaan…

Guncha Muskuratha Ek Waqt Se Pehle,

Kyun Chodd Chala Tera Yeh Jahaan…

(But God please, may no soul here receive, this kind of ending…

Why is it that a smiling bunch of flowers wilted/died before its time had come?)

{*writer refers to the gradual, sweet smelling natural death of a flower."}

Ek Lau Is Tarah Kyun Bhuji Mere Maula,

Ek Lau Zindagi Ki Maula.

(Why was a flare extinguished like this, my Lord,

A flare of Life, my Lord)

Dhoop Ke Ujaale Se, Aus Ke Pyaale Se,

Khushiyan Mile Humko…

Zyada Manga Hai Kahaan, Sarhadein Na Ho Jahaan,

Duniya Mile Humko…

(The light of the sunshine, the beauty of the morning dew,

We recieve joy from all of this…

Is it too much that we ask for a world with no borders*)

{*As in, borders/divisions between people, ethnicities, religions…symbolizing all artificially created conflict amongst humanity}

Par Khuda Khair Kar, Uske Armaan Mein Kyun

Bewaja Ho Koi Qurbaan,

Guncha Muskuratha Ek Waqt Se Pehle,

Kyun Chodd Chala Tera Yeh Jahaan…

(But God please, why should anyone be sacrificed to fulfill this desire*…

Why is it that a smiling bunch of flowers wilted/died before its time had come?)

{*Why should there be sacrifice for the sake of creating this division-less, conflict-free society?}

Ek Lau Is Tarah Kyun Bhuji Mere Maula,

Ek Lau Zindagi Ki Maula. (2)

(Why was a flare extinguished like this, my Lord,

A flare of Life, my Lord)

Taking for Granted….

Last week while I was traveling in a rickshaw, there was a girl who was screaming on phone – “you better don’t talk like that. Do not take me for granted. Understand?...”. she was probably screaming at her boy friend. Then I thought- wow, this is a nice topic to write on! when and why do we take someone or something for granted! That “someone” could be parents, friends, boyfriend, girlfriend, boss, etc. So here, I am gonna try to analyse a few situations where we take someone for granted.

1) Taking “being good-hearted” for granted: This, I think, is the worst mistake any person can make! I have a friend of mine who is looking out for a life partner. I asked her “hey, what all qualities would you look out for in a boy?” She said “education, money, job,good looks, hmmm…..that is it.” I asked “what about good nature, willingness to keep you happy all your life, being supportive, urge to be always by your side?” She said “Dipen, that is obvious. Yeh qualities to usme hoga hi…” Then I wondered how easily one takes “good nature, being supportive, willingness to keep you happy all your life, urge to be always by your side” for granted! These, according to me, are the prime-most important things. What is the use of a life partner who lacks in these qualities, but is highly-educated, earns 1 lakh per month, looks like Robert Pattinson? I know that some of you who are reading this blog and who know me might start judging me about my disregard for looks and money (bcos I don’t have either); but, trust me, these are temporary things. In the long run, what matters is “good nature, being supportive, willingness to keep you happy all your life, urge to be always by your side”. These qualities won’t fade away that easily, unless they hadn’t come deep down from the heart. Think about a situation where in a girl starts liking a boy just on the basis of good looks. In this case, what is happening is that the girl likes the “external appearance” of the boy. Tomorrow, unfortunately if that boy meets with an accident and his face gets disfigured and starts looking “non-handsome”, chances are very high that the girl will start searching out a guy who looks like her boyfriend-prior-to-accident. Getting my point? Same is the case with money. Money, looks, job, name, fame, etc. are temporary things in life. So, never ever base your love on temporary things in life. Always think about what is important in the long run. You can surely spend your life in a 1 BHK with a good hearted guy, but I am sure you can’t spend your life in a plush 4 BHK with a guy who doesn’t really care about your life, happiness and respect! Think about it !!!!!!

2) Taking your friends for granted: Every friend on this earth is a stranger to us before we start finding a friend in that person. In the initial stages of friendship, we take care not to hurt a person’s feelings. Later on, we start feeling “chhod naa, apna hi to dost hai” and for fun or to impress people around, we start screwing that friend left and right! Just for fun! That is when the elastic breaks and friendship gets strained. We take the friend for granted and feel that “wo to kuch nahi bolega, apna dost hai wo”. But, you never know when you must start losing respect in the eyes of that friend of yours. And the moment that respect is lost, friendship can’t stand on its feet for long either! So, never ever take your friends for granted.

3) Taking your body parts for granted: Have you ever seen adrenaline junkies drive cars or bikes at unimaginable speeds? Have you ever travelled in local trains in Mumbai? If you have, then you must have seen rowdy, dare-devils try their acrobatic feats while standing on the door. They lean out of the train as much as possible and when the train approaches a pole, they, in the nick of time, pull themselves in and evade the pole. They get a kick out of this! But, they tend to forget how important each body part is. Ask a deaf or dumb or a blind person the importance of ear, ability to speak or eyes respectively. Ask a person who lost has a leg in an accident the importance of a leg of ask a person who has lost a hand in some factory-related-accident. You will realize how easily we take “being 100% complete” for granted! Care for your body parts. Be thankful to god if you are not handicapped in any sense.

4) Taking your parents for granted: To be continued….

5) Taking your boss for granted:

what is a failure?

Every year, when the results of 10^th and 12^th std are declared, we see newspapers flooded with news of students attempting suicide because they thought that they could not meet their or their parents expectations and thus decided that they were a ‘failure’. So, I wondered why and how does one decide that one is failure and is it worth to give up life for just a ‘failure’?...

Open a Microsoft word document. Type “failure” and right click on it and go to Synonyms and you will find these alternatives for failure - breakdown, stoppage, malfunction, crash, letdown, not a success, collapse, disappointment. Just like many synonyms for failure, there are many reasons for one to consider oneself a failure. Failure is a very subjective term. It means different to different people. Let me take the example of students.

The current world is just too much bugged by the ‘Comparison Syndrome’. There is so much competition out there. Every parent wants their child to be the best/the topper/the Most X or Most Y or Most Z! Parents should remember that the topmost position can always be held by only kid. Out of a class of 70 students, there can be only one topper. The rest 69 are not toppers. But, the fact that your kid is amongst those 69 non-toppers doesn’t make your kid a failure. Trying your best to achieve your target is more important that being an achiever. There is nothing wrong in expecting your child to be one of the best; but parents should never create a mind-set that ‘being in the 69 non-toppers’ list is a crime’. There is no definite list of parameters that defines your kid to be ‘the best’ or ‘a failure’. There can be late bloomers. It is quite possible that your kid might not perform well in school, but being a very creative kid, he might excel later on in the creative world or if he is good in sports, then he might achieve something great at state level or national level! The performance in the first 16 yrs in not at all a indicator of how successful or otherwise your kid will turn out to be!

When we are in the impressionable age, we easily get affected or crumbled by external factors. There can be peer pressure, parental pressure, pressure of meeting one’s own expectation, etc. which can drive a kid mad and make him/her feel that he/she ‘is not at par’ with the world around. When such feelings occupy the mind more than any other positive thought, kids start considering themselves failure and since they don’t want to let their parents down, they think that giving up their life is the only solution to the problem. But, they forget that suicide is never ever ever ever a solution to a problem. NO PARENT on earth will be happy to see the failure of their kid be compensated with his/her life. Please remember that there IS ALWAYS a next time. Sun sets down to come up the next morning. I strongly feel that there are so many things for one to learn from nature. Have you ever cared to observe the persistence of waves? I like the fact that the sea waves incessantly keep coming to the shore as if they are challenging the boundaries and are shouting at them ―hey you boundaries, you know what, you are just a structure made of rocks and cement. We have all the power to fight you and destroy you someday. We will keep splashing against you till the day you are worn out. We won’t give up easily. That is the kind of attitude we should have in life.

Dear kids,

Never ever ever think yourself to be a failure. There is nothing wrong in being a late-bloomer. Sooner or later, every kid grows up to be someone that others will look up to! Your parents love you very much and trust me, they will never be happy without you. Have a lot of self-belief and self-confidence in whatever you do in life. Perseverance pays.

Dear parents,

Every kid in this world is different! I feel that parents should follow the "Appreciate the potential. Don’t force anyone to emulate someone else" policy.

One should be motivated. Not be compared.

One should be shown a rosy picture to pep up and achieve that thing. Not be compared.

One should be told about the positive effects of doing a particular thing. Not be compared.

All in all, for god’s sake, stop comparing your kid with others! Tell the child to score 100/100 and not try to be some "Arun" who scores 95!