15 hours at Infosys Pune!

Just to give you a background of why I am talking about infosys pune – In the last month at Mphasis, I had 2 offers in hand – one from Infosys Pune and other from Citiustech Mumbai. Needless to say, the brand name of Infosys lured me to leave aside the more lucrative (in terms of salary in hand) at Citiustech. I had heard a lot about Infosys , the facilities, the swimming pool, badminton, TT, tennis,etc. at Infosys. So, I denied the  offer from Citiustech and went to Pune. I had to join Infosys on 13 december morning 9.00. So, I packed my bags and reached the Infy guest house on 12th december evening 5.30. Just as i reached Infy Pune’s guest house, i started feeling that i did something wrong. I had left my mom alone at home and would have to meet her only at weekends if i chose to stay at infy (the option of taking mom to pune wasn’t as feasible as it seems). Also, i missed Mumbai! kitna bhi traffic, pollution ,etc. ho, mumbai is mumbai! So, i called up the HR of Citiustech and informed her that i would join Citiustech from 15th dec and told the HR of infosys that i wouldnt join Infy the next day!…

The point of writing all this is that there is nothing wrong in changing your decision. I know that many would have thought ki “kya pagal hai ye, decision leneko hi nahi hua”. But, trust me, after this incidence, i dont feel even a bit of hesitance in saying that i did nothing wrong in changing my decision to come back to mumbai. Ultimately, what is important is that you should be happy with your decision. The outcome of a decision has to make you happy. There is no point in being the “one-decision-final-decision” kind of a person. The society looks down upon those who dont stick to their decisions. Circumstances change in no time and the decision that you had taken a day ago can go ‘wrong’. Don’t be shy from changing your decision. This applies to almost everything in life… be it marraige, job, etc. Now that i have taken the example of marriage -  the normal indian tradition is 1) meeting of parents 2) meeting of the boy and girl 3) engagement within no time and 4) marriage… Its very difficult to know a person in the time frame that a couple is allowed before engagement. So, even if either of the couple is hesitant to go ahead with the relationship, due to the societal norms they have to keep their decision intact. They then commit to get married and finally a day comes when the elastic of endurance snaps! and then you realise that you took ‘some’ wrong decision in life. but its too late then! The point here is that if you foresee a problem, then don’t think about what the world says, just go ahead and change your decision. I know that there would be millions who would say “aise to fir kabhi shaadi hi nahi hogi”. But, i feel that living  a life in a bad relationship is far worse than living it alone! Being a Sharhrukh khan fan, i am reminded of his words from the movie “kuch kuch hota hai” - “hum jeete hai ek baar..hum marte bhi hai ek baar… aur shaadi bhi ek hi baar karte hai…”. Atleast i am this kind of a person and that is why i say that if you feel you are stuck with the wrong person, then change the decision of spending your life with that person… you are not OBLIGATED to the society in any damn way! Make a decision that makes you happy!…

A few lessons in life…

Recently a few things happened in my life and that is why they have made me sit down and introspect as to where I have gone wrong in life and it is time for me to learn from my mistakes… and I thought that it would be good if you all can learn a few things from what I have learnt in my life… btw, after reading this blog, you might start judging me. But it is ok for me, as long as you learn something from this blog… btw, this blog is about what I have learnt from my mistakes and others’ too!...

1) Respect your parents: Day before yesterday, I was standing at a bus-stop and there was a poor woman who was lying on the bench of the bus-stop on the other side of the road. She was shivering. Her son, around 5 yrs old, was not able to figure out what needed to be done. A middle-class person standing nearby took pity on that poor woman and gave a 20-rupee note to that small kid and told him to get some tea and biscuit for his mother. That small kid ran to the nearest kirana-store to get some biscuit. While returning, he got some tea too. The tea was packed in a small plastic and he had 2 empty glasses in hand. Being so small, he wasn’t able to pour the tea from plastic into those 2 tea-cups. He tried once to pour that hot tea into tea-cups. But, his little fingers got scathed and then his mother got up with great difficulty and poured tea and then they ate a few biscuits. After eating one biscuit, that small boy started massaging her mother’s forehead. The poor woman, after eating a few biscuits, slept for a while. That small kid made sure that his mother’s body was properly covered with her dupatta.

I was so moved by that episode that it has changed me for good. Being the creators of our lives, parents deserve respect and love from us. I guess, when we become parents someday, we would realize this ourselves…

2) Never break your friend’s trust: A month ago I did something I repented for a month long! I broke my friend’s trust. I will not go into the details of what happened and all, rather I would jot down what I learnt from that mistake of mine.

a) Every friendship demands a level of trust and make sure that you never do anything that would make the trust go down below that level.

b) Treat the other person how she/he wants to be treated and not the way you want to treat them.

c) Friendship is like a piece of cloth. Once it tears apart, it is very difficult to get it into its original form. Only in the rarest of rare cases can the friendship come into its original form. (I am happy that in my case, the things are as normal as it were earlier; in fact better than earlier because I know that I am not going to make the same mistake again!)

d) Don’t try to test the elasticity of your friendship. Every friendship has a set of untold barriers and rules. Respect them. As they say, there is no use crying over spilt milk! Watch while the milk is boiling so that it doesn’t spill over!

3) Know when to ‘give up’: In one of my earlier blogs, I had written about the importance of never giving up. I would like to mention that the “never give up” principle doesn’t work in everything in life. Know where to give up and where not to give up! Chasing mirages never helps!

4) Be free from OCD (obsessive compulsive disorders): Many people in this world suffer from OCDs. OCDs can be related to your anger, kindness, etc. I have an OCD of helping people. I am not trying to blow my own trumpet, but I feel an obsessive compulsion to help people. Like for example, if some GRE-aspirant asks for little guidance regarding GRE, I go to the extent of sharing my phone number and charting out a GRE-Preparation plan for that person. At times, I even call up that GRE-aspirant and ask about the status of his/her preparation! I mean, this is height! I don’t know why I should care for some stranger! I am working on this OCD of helping people. The problem with this OCD is that many people start devaluing you for this kind attitude. People start feeling “isko to kuch kaam dhandha hi nahi…pagal hai ye jo kisi stranger ke liye itna fight maar raha hai”…I now help only 2 out 10 people who approach me for help! If you have such OCD, pls rethink about it! It might land you in some trouble, someday!

Ek Lau Is Tarah Kyun Bujhi Mere Maula….

“Ek Lau Is Tarah..” is a song from the movie AAMIR. This is my most favorite song ever! mainly because of the meaning and the soft background music… The first time i heard this song was at the time of 26/11 Mumbai attacks. There used to be a video that showed the carnage of the terrorist attack and then at the end there used to be a list of martyrs that scrolled up on the screen… all this had this beautiful song as the backdrop …

Almost every time i listen to this song, i have tears in my eyes… life is so fragile… i mean, you are sitting in TAJ hotel, having a lavish dinner with your friends and someone all of a sudden drops a bomb on your hotel and you are taken hostage and then killed for no fault of yours…!… It is so difficult to accept a heart-rending conclusion for no mistake of yours…

I just want to dedicate this to all those who lost their lives, whose families were destroyed, those who are injured and perhaps crippled forever, for the city, for all the citizens, for all those who were affected in any manner. This should not have happened. I pray for everyone affected…

 

(Song has been written by Amit Trivedi, from the soundtrack of Aamir, sung by Shilpa Rao)

 

Ek Lau Is Tarah Kyun Bhuji Mere Maula…

(Why was a flare extinguished like this, my Lord…)

Gardishon Mein Rehti, Behti Guzarthi,

Zindagi Aahein Kitni…

(Struggling through dark clouds, flowing, passing by,

There are so many lives [being lived]…)

In Mein Se Ek Hai, Teri Meri Agni,

Koi Ek Jaisi Apni…

(Your life and my life is just one flame amongst all of these)

Par Khuda Khair Kar, Aisa Anjaam Kisi Rooh Ko,

Na De Kabhi Yahaan…

Guncha Muskuratha Ek Waqt Se Pehle,

Kyun Chodd Chala Tera Yeh Jahaan…

(But God please, may no soul here receive, this kind of ending…

Why is it that a smiling bunch of flowers wilted/died before its time had come?)

{*writer refers to the gradual, sweet smelling natural death of a flower."}

Ek Lau Is Tarah Kyun Bhuji Mere Maula,

Ek Lau Zindagi Ki Maula.

(Why was a flare extinguished like this, my Lord,

A flare of Life, my Lord)

Dhoop Ke Ujaale Se, Aus Ke Pyaale Se,

Khushiyan Mile Humko…

Zyada Manga Hai Kahaan, Sarhadein Na Ho Jahaan,

Duniya Mile Humko…

(The light of the sunshine, the beauty of the morning dew,

We recieve joy from all of this…

Is it too much that we ask for a world with no borders*)

{*As in, borders/divisions between people, ethnicities, religions…symbolizing all artificially created conflict amongst humanity}

Par Khuda Khair Kar, Uske Armaan Mein Kyun

Bewaja Ho Koi Qurbaan,

Guncha Muskuratha Ek Waqt Se Pehle,

Kyun Chodd Chala Tera Yeh Jahaan…

(But God please, why should anyone be sacrificed to fulfill this desire*…

Why is it that a smiling bunch of flowers wilted/died before its time had come?)

{*Why should there be sacrifice for the sake of creating this division-less, conflict-free society?}

Ek Lau Is Tarah Kyun Bhuji Mere Maula,

Ek Lau Zindagi Ki Maula. (2)

(Why was a flare extinguished like this, my Lord,

A flare of Life, my Lord)

Taking for Granted….

Last week while I was traveling in a rickshaw, there was a girl who was screaming on phone – “you better don’t talk like that. Do not take me for granted. Understand?...”. she was probably screaming at her boy friend. Then I thought- wow, this is a nice topic to write on! when and why do we take someone or something for granted! That “someone” could be parents, friends, boyfriend, girlfriend, boss, etc. So here, I am gonna try to analyse a few situations where we take someone for granted.

1) Taking “being good-hearted” for granted: This, I think, is the worst mistake any person can make! I have a friend of mine who is looking out for a life partner. I asked her “hey, what all qualities would you look out for in a boy?” She said “education, money, job,good looks, hmmm…..that is it.” I asked “what about good nature, willingness to keep you happy all your life, being supportive, urge to be always by your side?” She said “Dipen, that is obvious. Yeh qualities to usme hoga hi…” Then I wondered how easily one takes “good nature, being supportive, willingness to keep you happy all your life, urge to be always by your side” for granted! These, according to me, are the prime-most important things. What is the use of a life partner who lacks in these qualities, but is highly-educated, earns 1 lakh per month, looks like Robert Pattinson? I know that some of you who are reading this blog and who know me might start judging me about my disregard for looks and money (bcos I don’t have either); but, trust me, these are temporary things. In the long run, what matters is “good nature, being supportive, willingness to keep you happy all your life, urge to be always by your side”. These qualities won’t fade away that easily, unless they hadn’t come deep down from the heart. Think about a situation where in a girl starts liking a boy just on the basis of good looks. In this case, what is happening is that the girl likes the “external appearance” of the boy. Tomorrow, unfortunately if that boy meets with an accident and his face gets disfigured and starts looking “non-handsome”, chances are very high that the girl will start searching out a guy who looks like her boyfriend-prior-to-accident. Getting my point? Same is the case with money. Money, looks, job, name, fame, etc. are temporary things in life. So, never ever base your love on temporary things in life. Always think about what is important in the long run. You can surely spend your life in a 1 BHK with a good hearted guy, but I am sure you can’t spend your life in a plush 4 BHK with a guy who doesn’t really care about your life, happiness and respect! Think about it !!!!!!

2) Taking your friends for granted: Every friend on this earth is a stranger to us before we start finding a friend in that person. In the initial stages of friendship, we take care not to hurt a person’s feelings. Later on, we start feeling “chhod naa, apna hi to dost hai” and for fun or to impress people around, we start screwing that friend left and right! Just for fun! That is when the elastic breaks and friendship gets strained. We take the friend for granted and feel that “wo to kuch nahi bolega, apna dost hai wo”. But, you never know when you must start losing respect in the eyes of that friend of yours. And the moment that respect is lost, friendship can’t stand on its feet for long either! So, never ever take your friends for granted.

3) Taking your body parts for granted: Have you ever seen adrenaline junkies drive cars or bikes at unimaginable speeds? Have you ever travelled in local trains in Mumbai? If you have, then you must have seen rowdy, dare-devils try their acrobatic feats while standing on the door. They lean out of the train as much as possible and when the train approaches a pole, they, in the nick of time, pull themselves in and evade the pole. They get a kick out of this! But, they tend to forget how important each body part is. Ask a deaf or dumb or a blind person the importance of ear, ability to speak or eyes respectively. Ask a person who lost has a leg in an accident the importance of a leg of ask a person who has lost a hand in some factory-related-accident. You will realize how easily we take “being 100% complete” for granted! Care for your body parts. Be thankful to god if you are not handicapped in any sense.

4) Taking your parents for granted: To be continued….

5) Taking your boss for granted:

what is a failure?

Every year, when the results of 10^th and 12^th std are declared, we see newspapers flooded with news of students attempting suicide because they thought that they could not meet their or their parents expectations and thus decided that they were a ‘failure’. So, I wondered why and how does one decide that one is failure and is it worth to give up life for just a ‘failure’?...

Open a Microsoft word document. Type “failure” and right click on it and go to Synonyms and you will find these alternatives for failure - breakdown, stoppage, malfunction, crash, letdown, not a success, collapse, disappointment. Just like many synonyms for failure, there are many reasons for one to consider oneself a failure. Failure is a very subjective term. It means different to different people. Let me take the example of students.

The current world is just too much bugged by the ‘Comparison Syndrome’. There is so much competition out there. Every parent wants their child to be the best/the topper/the Most X or Most Y or Most Z! Parents should remember that the topmost position can always be held by only kid. Out of a class of 70 students, there can be only one topper. The rest 69 are not toppers. But, the fact that your kid is amongst those 69 non-toppers doesn’t make your kid a failure. Trying your best to achieve your target is more important that being an achiever. There is nothing wrong in expecting your child to be one of the best; but parents should never create a mind-set that ‘being in the 69 non-toppers’ list is a crime’. There is no definite list of parameters that defines your kid to be ‘the best’ or ‘a failure’. There can be late bloomers. It is quite possible that your kid might not perform well in school, but being a very creative kid, he might excel later on in the creative world or if he is good in sports, then he might achieve something great at state level or national level! The performance in the first 16 yrs in not at all a indicator of how successful or otherwise your kid will turn out to be!

When we are in the impressionable age, we easily get affected or crumbled by external factors. There can be peer pressure, parental pressure, pressure of meeting one’s own expectation, etc. which can drive a kid mad and make him/her feel that he/she ‘is not at par’ with the world around. When such feelings occupy the mind more than any other positive thought, kids start considering themselves failure and since they don’t want to let their parents down, they think that giving up their life is the only solution to the problem. But, they forget that suicide is never ever ever ever a solution to a problem. NO PARENT on earth will be happy to see the failure of their kid be compensated with his/her life. Please remember that there IS ALWAYS a next time. Sun sets down to come up the next morning. I strongly feel that there are so many things for one to learn from nature. Have you ever cared to observe the persistence of waves? I like the fact that the sea waves incessantly keep coming to the shore as if they are challenging the boundaries and are shouting at them ―hey you boundaries, you know what, you are just a structure made of rocks and cement. We have all the power to fight you and destroy you someday. We will keep splashing against you till the day you are worn out. We won’t give up easily. That is the kind of attitude we should have in life.

Dear kids,

Never ever ever think yourself to be a failure. There is nothing wrong in being a late-bloomer. Sooner or later, every kid grows up to be someone that others will look up to! Your parents love you very much and trust me, they will never be happy without you. Have a lot of self-belief and self-confidence in whatever you do in life. Perseverance pays.

Dear parents,

Every kid in this world is different! I feel that parents should follow the "Appreciate the potential. Don’t force anyone to emulate someone else" policy.

One should be motivated. Not be compared.

One should be shown a rosy picture to pep up and achieve that thing. Not be compared.

One should be told about the positive effects of doing a particular thing. Not be compared.

All in all, for god’s sake, stop comparing your kid with others! Tell the child to score 100/100 and not try to be some "Arun" who scores 95!

Those last four biscuits…

This is the first time that I am attempting an article in a very different way. Let me tell you beforehand the gist of this article – jiske naseeb mein jo likha hai, wo usiko milta hai!!!

There are 2 main characters in this real life incidence.

1) The beggar on the foot-over-bridge of Goregaon station.

2) myself.

I will describe the incidence at various points in time.

The night before this incidence happened:

1) That beggar must have requested God to make her next day better than her present day.

2) I requested God to convince the Mayor of Mumbai to inaugurate my book.

11.45 AM that day:

1) That beggar must have been begging since morning but not got anything from the commuters passing by her.

2) The meeting with the Mayor was fruitful and she told me to go to BMC office at CST and confirm the timing.

1.00 PM that day:

1) That beggar must have stared at her bowl and must have wondered as to why did she get just 2 coins of Re.1 since morning. Where did all the kindness from people’s heart go?

2) After a very tiring morning, I was very hungry and so bought a packet of HIDE-N-SEEK at CST station. I was sitting at the window seat and was being happy at the fact that Mayor of Mumbai was ready to launch my book. I tore open the packet of biscuits and was so hungry that I had decided that I would eat all the biscuits in one go!

1.15 PM that day:

1) That beggar must have lost all the hope of a positive day ahead.

2) Out of 12 biscuits, I ate 8 and wanted to eat something salty. A Groundnutwala came and I took groundnuts worth 5 rupees. I started eating groundnuts and in the next 5 minutes my hunger vanished.

1.20 PM that day:

1) That beggar must have got one Re.1 coin from some good-hearted commuter.

2) There were only 4 HIDE-N-SEEK biscuits left in the packet. I was not willing to eat any further. I didn’t want to throw away the biscuits and so I was waiting for some urchin to come into the bogie and thereby I would have done away with the biscuits in a proper way.

1.40 PM that day:

1) That beggar must have started wondering “does God exist?”

2) The train reached Bandra station. I still had those last 4 biscuits with me. Since I hadn’t found any urchin in the last 20 minutes, I had kept those 4 biscuits in the bag. Just as the train was about to start from Bandra station, one beggar suddenly flashed in front of my eyes. Just as I was about to take out those last 4 biscuits, the train gathered speed and that beggar was nowhere in sight! I missed the chance of getting rid of those 4 biscuits…

1.45 PM that day:

1) That beggar must have lost all the hope of having a good day ahead.

2) The train reached Khar Road station. I was standing at the door and was so frustrated of having those last 4 biscuits with me that I was thinking of throwing those biscuits on the track.

1.46 PM that day:

1) Somehow, God thought “enough was enough” and thought of making that beggar happy!

2) Just as I was about to throw those last 4 biscuits away, I changed my mind and kept that packet again in the bag.

2.05 PM that day:

1) That beggar must have started believing that her day would be as ordinary as any other day!

2) I alighted at Goregaon station. I normally take the 2^nd foot-over-bridge. I changed my mind and took the 1^st foot-over-bridge (the one on which that beggar was sitting).

2.06 PM that day:

1) That beggar must have started hating God and must have thought of going to sleep in the midst of hot afternoon.

2) Just as I was passing by that beggar, I first chose to ignore that beggar. But, suddenly I changed my mind and took out those last 4 HIDE-N-SEEK biscuits and gave them to the beggar.

2.07 PM that day:

1) That beggar became happy!!!!!

2) I became happy because I did a good deed and also I got rid of those last 4 biscuits…!

All in all, from the above real life incidence, I strongly feel that – jiske naseeb mein jo hai, wo use milta hi hai!...

Think about it………..!

the launch of IN THEIR SHOES…

11^th april 2010 was the best day of my life!... This was the day when my first book – in Their Shoes…- got launched at Crossword Powai. The number of “Thank you”s or “Oh..Thanks so much” that I said must have easily crossed a million! :D… I was so much used to saying those words that day that this is how any conversation must have gone:

Someone: What is your name..?

Me: Thank you..!

Someone : where do u live?..

Me: oh..thanks so much!

Someone: which train do you take everyday?..

Me: oh..thanks a ton!...

I mean, that day I felt as if the only words in my vocabulary were “Thank you” and “oh..thanks so much”…! The day started pretty well. I got up at 7.00, prepared my speech by 9.00 and left for Crossword at 9.20...

The book launch was to start at 11.30. I reached there by 11.15 and was surprised to see people already waiting for me! :D… I felt so nice!... I met those who were waiting for me and then went inside the store and met the store manager – Tom Jose.

The launch started at 11.50 AM. The chief guest – Joseph sir sat on the first chair. I sat in the middle and Prashant Karhade (the publisher) sat to my left. Algane- the compere introduced us to the audience. After a small introduction of 3 of us, we launched the book. ie unwrapped 3 copies of my book. and then stood posing those 3 copies! Flashes went on capturing the best moment of my life. I had the widest smile ever on my face. That was the best moment of my life. A book at the age of 26! I had a sense of achievement! I had something that I would be proud of myself for the rest of my life! Joseph sir was the first one to give the speech. He talked about me as his student and then about my book and its characters. After sir, Prashant Karhade gave the speech and then it was my turn to say a few words. The first speech of my life! (giving speeches in school and college was nothing in front of this…) It took me a few seconds to control my smile. I started – “good afternoon to u all…..” (u can watch the video of my speech in a day or two…). The moment I was done with my speech, there was a loud round of applause. Wow!... I could see proud faces, smiling faces, happy faces! I can’t tell you how happy I became when I could see that I had made so many people proud of me.

After my speech was over, Dutta aunty and Patwala uncle said a few kind words that came from the bottom of their heart. Later on, began the Book-signing spree! I can’t tell you how happy I was when I started giving autographs to people. This was the template that I followed:

To XYZ,

With

Best

Wishes….

From,

My signature …

after every autograph, a picture used to be clicked. Wow!.... you had to be there to see how happy I was!..

the following are the links for the pics and video:

1) Photos :

http://picasaweb.google.com/dipenambalia/LaunchOfMyBookINTHEIRSHOES#

2) Videos:

My speech at the launch:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R0RywN0TmYE

Jospeh sir’s introduction:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRugIlpl6AM

The very beginning of the launch:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kL0xyvvE-XQ

All in all, 11^th april 2010 easily became the best day of my life till now. My dream of becoming a writer came true that day.