Friday, 14 December 2012
Friday, 11 May 2012
onetwothree
Thursday, 19 April 2012
The Nirmal Baba Fiasco
Just before I leave for office, while having breakfast, since I have nothing better to watch, I watch Nirmal Baba ke Samagam to see what effect he has on people. To be true, I have never felt that Baba was trying to “Fool” anyone. If someone has a problem, he suggests some very simple solution and the sufferer thanks Baba for his blessings. In this process, what is happening is that the sufferer now has “something or someone” to have belief on. The sufferer who previously was without any kind of support now feels that now he has someone who is going to stand by him and that someone here is Nirmal Baba. It doesn’t matter whether Baba tells that guy to give 3 chapatis to a black dog or 5 vada-pavs to 7 beggars each! All he is relying is on the assumption that the self belief of the sufferer will strengthen and gradually with positive thinking and positive vibes, things around that sufferer will start improving. So, tomorrow if anyone comes to me and asks for a solution, even I can tell that guy to drink 3 glasses of sugarcane juice for 29 days and then “dheere dheere kripa aani shuru ho jayegi”.
In short, Nirmal Baba is not doing any fraud by giving such simple solutions. All he is doing is trying to help people, but by charging them Rs.2000 per entry. Recently a friend of mine told me so damn true thing “If you are good at something and love doing it, never do it for free”. This is what Nirmal Baba is doing. People trust him and many claim to have got positive result. Good naa? Jhukti hai Duniya, Jhukane wala chaiye. Baba gets his money, the sufferer comes out of his troubles. As long as Baba is paying taxes, he isn’t doing any fraud.
I strongly suspect interests or jealousy of a few people or entities who are just trying to malign that Baba. And what bloody right does Star News have when they only agreed to air his show on their channel for money!
Tuesday, 31 January 2012
Thursday, 22 December 2011
Interview of a Frustrated Indian - part 1
26 nov 11 witnessed the 3 rd anniv of mumbai attacks. I posted a FB status of my frustration about the injustice meted out to the victims and their family members, etc... I thought, who's listening to me? There is so much frustration about many things around me and so I thought of an imaginary interview wherein a reporter interviews a frustrated indian... so, here it goes..
Reporter: Good evening. So, how are you?
Frustrated Indian: Ok. Nothing great about what is going in life or the world around me.
Reporter: Why would you say so?
Frustrated Indian: The other day I had been to Marine Drive in Mumbai and I just kept thinking the lives of the people who died or got injured in the 26/11 attacks. Can you even imagine how shocking it can be to be shot at while you are having a lavish lunch at the Taj or the Oberoi or how startling it is to be waiting for a train at CST station and being shot at even when there is not an iota of your fault? Some guy makes up his mind to kill tens or hundreds of people, shoots at people indiscriminately and doesn't have a fucking remorse for what he did was wrong! Leave the remorse part aside, I wonder why is he even alive! Since last 3 years he has been fed fucking biryani and been given extra protection! Why dammit why? It's not as if he has given us vital data to trace it back to the nation that we know is responsible. He simply keeps on changing his statements! Do you even know how painful it is to lose someone in such an attack!...
Reporter: You lost someone in such attacks?
Frustrated Indian: Not yet, but that day is not far when I might lose someone dear because of the apathy of the system. I and my friends travel in Mumbai locals. There is no guarantee that I or my friends will reach home; let alone reach home one-piece!...evry weekend when I meet my school friends at our regular meeting point, I heave a sigh of relief that we passed one more week not becoming a victim of any attack or unfortunate incident.
Reporter: But, why are you worrying about such IF incidents.
Frustrated Indian: Because every incident is an IF incident, until it happens. And when it happens, it doesn't discriminate on the basis of your religion, caste, money, etc.
Reporter : don't u think you are being too pessimistic?
Frustrated Indian: No. I am being a realistic. It's quite possible that some terrorist has entered the premises of this building where you are interviweing me. We are just chatting and suddenly a bomb might blow and end this interview right away. Do you think that the people who died in the recent Zaveri bazaar blasts had any idea that they would get killed while enjoying an omlette or a tea at a roadside stall!!!
Reporter: so what do u thnk is the solution ?
Frustrated Indian: First of all, torture kasab to the most extreme and make an example out him. Cut him into pieces and throw those pieces in a gutter. Do this on live television. Let any prospective terrorist See what he will have to face if he plans to hurt any indian. Do you think any bloody kasab can enter israel and attempt such an attack? If god gives me a chance to be reborn, I would like be born as an Israeli. At least I would know that my country will not tolerate any attack on my brethren! Seriously, Israeli military ghar pe jaake marenge saale terrorists ko! I so much wish we had that attitude in india. Bahut hua gandhigiri. Please. Its only when a family member of a person at a high level gets killed in such attack, will some action be taken. Just as an extreme example- if rahul gandhi would have been killed in 26/11, do you think the course of action against terrorism would have been the same? NO. We indians don't mind as long problems don't happen to us or our dear ones.
Secondly, increase the surveillance in every nook and corner in the city, suburbs. Have 24 hr cameras that will capture any untoward incidents; be it terrorist attacks, rapes, molestations, robbery,etc. For every such incidents there will be proof. Half of the times action cannot be taken because we are not able to explain the police about what,how,when the incident happened.
Thirdly, make the punishments for breaking any law extreme. In this country no one is afraid of law! We cross red lights at signal saying "pandu pakdega to de dunga rs.500. Kya karega wo aur". Are b€¥¤¥¥£d, make it an unbailable offense and see if us offender ki himmat hoti hai signal todneki". Or other example is of rapes or molestations. Bloody fuck why can't you give death penalties ?? How is a life time punishment going to compensate for that girl's dignity and her faith in any male around ? The worst example I can think of is of that nurse Aruna. Her molestor is free from jail. But Aruna is still in a bad state. Uski life to waste ho gayi naa?????
I think we better end the interview here only. I am not in a right state to think objectively. I am laden with emotions right now.
Reporter: any last words for readers?
Frustrated Indian: No. I don't have any explicit message for my brethren. This whole discussion should be enough the fire in them and do something for this country. Thank you for letting out my frustrations. Bye.
Thursday, 24 November 2011
My 2nd book - LOSER!!!
My 2nd book - "Life Of a Software EngineeR" is going to be released in Jan 2012...!!! :)...
*About the book*: This book depicts the software world in a funny, sarcastic and witty way which will surely project the apparently real picture of the software world without actually hurting anyone's feelings. And there are N number of tips on how to fool your bosses, what to do in meetings and presentations, how to garner good ratings in appraisals, what to say and not to say on the last day of job, myths and truths of the software world, difference between an Onsite guy and an Offshore guy, etc.! This book is going to be like the Murphy's law for the IT world... :-)
*About the Publisher*: The book is going to be published by FingerPrint Press - an imprint of Prakash books, Delhi... They have been in the market since last 50 years and so have a very good reach in the market.
*Website*: www.aboutloser.com
*Facebook page*: http://www.facebook.com/
I would request you to go to and follow the above mentioned website and FB page!!!
Sunday, 10 April 2011
First anniversary of my book “In Their Shoes…”
Dear all,
It gives me immense pleasure to say that my first book “In Their Shoes…” has completed one year in the bookdom! The last one year has made me feel many emotions such as anger and frustration, pride, happiness, sadness,etc. and I have learnt a lot in life. This blog is to share those thoughts. A business analyst that I am, I would like to categorise my thoughts as per the emotions….
Pride: Till date since 11th april 2010, not even a single day has passed when I haven’t felt that I have done something in life that I would never have thought as a child. It gives me immense sense of pride when I say “yes, I am an author”. Please don’t misconstrue my statement as arrogance. I can’t tell you how proud I feel of myself when I imagine what pride would have gleamed on my dad’s face, were he alive! Today is one more day when I miss my dad because if he were alive he would have told all his friends and colleagues “did you read “In Their Shoes..” or not?... arey, go read it…my son has written it…”
Happiness: Happiness is related to pride and so the above sentences are also applicable to this point. A year or 2 back, I would have never thought that I would ever receive a letter from the governor of Maharashtra stating that he liked my book. Getting testimonials from Mickey Mehta (the fitness guru), CEO of Naukri.com, Dainik jagran, Navbharat times, Loksatta, Maharashtra Times, Amar Ujuala, Afternoon Despatch and Courier, etc. would be something that I would have never thought of! But, it was the Shoes that made it possible for me. Needless to say, that happiness that I feel everyday is because of Shoes!!!..
Anger and frustration: Promoting a book is as tough as promoting a film! It doesn’t matter how well you write unless you let the readers know that “boss, this is a good book. Read it!” Getting testimonials from the biggies was a very difficult task! I must have called the governor’s office some 30-40 times before I got that letter of appreciation. Sending my book to the top most newspapers was also very difficult. Its so damn difficult to reach the right person! I had tried to get a testimonial from one very famous politician from Mumbai. I must have called atleast and literally 25-30 times to his office! To no avail! Everytime I used to call his office, his assistant’s assistant used to say “call at 1.00…call after 4.00…call after 9.00…” I was so damn frustrated that I gave up! I said to myself that my book would be good even without his testimonial!...
All in all, last one year has taught me many things! I just hope that with the new publisher, I will see the kind of success that I feel my book deserve! Keeping fingers crossed!
Monday, 31 January 2011
Jan Gan Man Adhinanayak Jay hai….
This blog has been written to propagate a fantastic video made on The National Anthem of our country. It is the best video ever based on our anthem. It’s made by Mudra Communication. The theme of this video is that there is no language of patriotism. There were tears in my eyes when I watched this video. I must have watched it at least 20-30 times since yesterday. It has been beautifully shot and wonderfully executed. If you are a true Indian, then please do watch this video. In fact I strongly believe that this is the anthem that should be played in movie theaters.
Wednesday, 26 January 2011
Corruption…God save India!
God save this country, because none of the departments in this country seems to be free of corruption. IAS, IPS, IRS, politicians, government officers, everyone!!!!!!!!! I mean, what the fuck is going on? I sincerely feel that corruption has become so rampant and integral part of our lives that it’s almost impossible to root out corruption.
I feel that corruption exists because of our impatience. It starts at a very basic level. Suppose if a normal process takes 5 days to happen, we are so impatient that we want it to happen in 3 days. We are ready to pay (read bribe) extra rs.500 so that we don’t have to wait. Out of that Rs.500, Rs.200 goes to the top-most officer, Rs.100 to the one beneath him and so and so forth. You keep bribing Rs. 500 for a few years and then one fine day you are told “saab, mehengai badh gayi hai… petrol, kaandaa,etc ka rate double ho gaya hai..…abhi Rs.1000 lagenge.” You twitch your face and ponder for a few moments. You take out rs.1000 and then your work is done. The greed for money has now increased and now that corrupt officer knows that for that particular work, one is ready to pay rs.1000. So, subsequent ordinary people are asked to bribe Rs. 1000 for the same work that could have been done for rs.500! With time, that bribe keeps increasing and one fine day you realize that you are the one who spoiled the “kids”! But unfortunately there is no returning back to getting your work done for less than Rs.500. The point is that it is we – the ones who want to break the line – who are the reason for corruption. The one who is giving a bribe is more committing a bigger crime than the one who is taking the bribe. A few steps that might reduce corruption:
1) Plan your things properly: It is we who should be more organized so that we don’t have to be in a hurry to get our work done in less than the expected time. Let’s suppose you a kid aged 17 years and 11 months and you are a Car or bike freak. You know that you are going to get a driver’s license in a month’s time. Then for god sakes, start your driving license process a month prior to getting 18 and not JUST a week ago by paying extra (read bribe). Plan your things properly.
2) Don’t jump the queue: everyone who comes to a government office to get work done has the same amount of haste as you do. His work is as important to him as it is to you.
3) Value your money: As I have said earlier too, corruption starts at a very basic level and with a a very small amount. There are tens of departments that you will need to go to to have your work done. Even if you pay at least Rs.200 at every department, then you can safely assume that annually you would be shelling out Rs. 5000 in total. (of course, this is just an approximate). I am sure that you can think of better ways to spend that Rs. 5000.
4) Think about others too: People who take bribes don’t have hearts. They don’t differentiate much between rich and poor. For example, if you want a telephone connection, chances are high that you won’t be spared because you are not rich. If some rich person has set a standard of bribing Rs.1000 for a connection in 10 days, be sure that you too would be expected to shell out the same amount. So, it’s all about the highest value set by someone for an illegal work to be done! Think about others too!
Needless to say, all above tips are applicable to me too!… Readers, do come up with simple and practical tips…
Tuesday, 18 January 2011
15 hours at Infosys Pune!
Just to give you a background of why I am talking about infosys pune – In the last month at Mphasis, I had 2 offers in hand – one from Infosys Pune and other from Citiustech Mumbai. Needless to say, the brand name of Infosys lured me to leave aside the more lucrative (in terms of salary in hand) at Citiustech. I had heard a lot about Infosys , the facilities, the swimming pool, badminton, TT, tennis,etc. at Infosys. So, I denied the offer from Citiustech and went to Pune. I had to join Infosys on 13 december morning 9.00. So, I packed my bags and reached the Infy guest house on 12th december evening 5.30. Just as i reached Infy Pune’s guest house, i started feeling that i did something wrong. I had left my mom alone at home and would have to meet her only at weekends if i chose to stay at infy (the option of taking mom to pune wasn’t as feasible as it seems). Also, i missed Mumbai! kitna bhi traffic, pollution ,etc. ho, mumbai is mumbai! So, i called up the HR of Citiustech and informed her that i would join Citiustech from 15th dec and told the HR of infosys that i wouldnt join Infy the next day!…
The point of writing all this is that there is nothing wrong in changing your decision. I know that many would have thought ki “kya pagal hai ye, decision leneko hi nahi hua”. But, trust me, after this incidence, i dont feel even a bit of hesitance in saying that i did nothing wrong in changing my decision to come back to mumbai. Ultimately, what is important is that you should be happy with your decision. The outcome of a decision has to make you happy. There is no point in being the “one-decision-final-decision” kind of a person. The society looks down upon those who dont stick to their decisions. Circumstances change in no time and the decision that you had taken a day ago can go ‘wrong’. Don’t be shy from changing your decision. This applies to almost everything in life… be it marraige, job, etc. Now that i have taken the example of marriage - the normal indian tradition is 1) meeting of parents 2) meeting of the boy and girl 3) engagement within no time and 4) marriage… Its very difficult to know a person in the time frame that a couple is allowed before engagement. So, even if either of the couple is hesitant to go ahead with the relationship, due to the societal norms they have to keep their decision intact. They then commit to get married and finally a day comes when the elastic of endurance snaps! and then you realise that you took ‘some’ wrong decision in life. but its too late then! The point here is that if you foresee a problem, then don’t think about what the world says, just go ahead and change your decision. I know that there would be millions who would say “aise to fir kabhi shaadi hi nahi hogi”. But, i feel that living a life in a bad relationship is far worse than living it alone! Being a Sharhrukh khan fan, i am reminded of his words from the movie “kuch kuch hota hai” - “hum jeete hai ek baar..hum marte bhi hai ek baar… aur shaadi bhi ek hi baar karte hai…”. Atleast i am this kind of a person and that is why i say that if you feel you are stuck with the wrong person, then change the decision of spending your life with that person… you are not OBLIGATED to the society in any damn way! Make a decision that makes you happy!…
Monday, 30 August 2010
A few lessons in life…
Recently a few things happened in my life and that is why they have made me sit down and introspect as to where I have gone wrong in life and it is time for me to learn from my mistakes… and I thought that it would be good if you all can learn a few things from what I have learnt in my life… btw, after reading this blog, you might start judging me. But it is ok for me, as long as you learn something from this blog… btw, this blog is about what I have learnt from my mistakes and others’ too!...
1) Respect your parents: Day before yesterday, I was standing at a bus-stop and there was a poor woman who was lying on the bench of the bus-stop on the other side of the road. She was shivering. Her son, around 5 yrs old, was not able to figure out what needed to be done. A middle-class person standing nearby took pity on that poor woman and gave a 20-rupee note to that small kid and told him to get some tea and biscuit for his mother. That small kid ran to the nearest kirana-store to get some biscuit. While returning, he got some tea too. The tea was packed in a small plastic and he had 2 empty glasses in hand. Being so small, he wasn’t able to pour the tea from plastic into those 2 tea-cups. He tried once to pour that hot tea into tea-cups. But, his little fingers got scathed and then his mother got up with great difficulty and poured tea and then they ate a few biscuits. After eating one biscuit, that small boy started massaging her mother’s forehead. The poor woman, after eating a few biscuits, slept for a while. That small kid made sure that his mother’s body was properly covered with her dupatta.
I was so moved by that episode that it has changed me for good. Being the creators of our lives, parents deserve respect and love from us. I guess, when we become parents someday, we would realize this ourselves…
2) Never break your friend’s trust: A month ago I did something I repented for a month long! I broke my friend’s trust. I will not go into the details of what happened and all, rather I would jot down what I learnt from that mistake of mine.
a) Every friendship demands a level of trust and make sure that you never do anything that would make the trust go down below that level.
b) Treat the other person how she/he wants to be treated and not the way you want to treat them.
c) Friendship is like a piece of cloth. Once it tears apart, it is very difficult to get it into its original form. Only in the rarest of rare cases can the friendship come into its original form. (I am happy that in my case, the things are as normal as it were earlier; in fact better than earlier because I know that I am not going to make the same mistake again!)
d) Don’t try to test the elasticity of your friendship. Every friendship has a set of untold barriers and rules. Respect them. As they say, there is no use crying over spilt milk! Watch while the milk is boiling so that it doesn’t spill over!
3) Know when to ‘give up’: In one of my earlier blogs, I had written about the importance of never giving up. I would like to mention that the “never give up” principle doesn’t work in everything in life. Know where to give up and where not to give up! Chasing mirages never helps!
4) Be free from OCD (obsessive compulsive disorders): Many people in this world suffer from OCDs. OCDs can be related to your anger, kindness, etc. I have an OCD of helping people. I am not trying to blow my own trumpet, but I feel an obsessive compulsion to help people. Like for example, if some GRE-aspirant asks for little guidance regarding GRE, I go to the extent of sharing my phone number and charting out a GRE-Preparation plan for that person. At times, I even call up that GRE-aspirant and ask about the status of his/her preparation! I mean, this is height! I don’t know why I should care for some stranger! I am working on this OCD of helping people. The problem with this OCD is that many people start devaluing you for this kind attitude. People start feeling “isko to kuch kaam dhandha hi nahi…pagal hai ye jo kisi stranger ke liye itna fight maar raha hai”…I now help only 2 out 10 people who approach me for help! If you have such OCD, pls rethink about it! It might land you in some trouble, someday!
Sunday, 29 August 2010
Ek Lau Is Tarah Kyun Bujhi Mere Maula….
“Ek Lau Is Tarah..” is a song from the movie AAMIR. This is my most favorite song ever! mainly because of the meaning and the soft background music… The first time i heard this song was at the time of 26/11 Mumbai attacks. There used to be a video that showed the carnage of the terrorist attack and then at the end there used to be a list of martyrs that scrolled up on the screen… all this had this beautiful song as the backdrop …
Almost every time i listen to this song, i have tears in my eyes… life is so fragile… i mean, you are sitting in TAJ hotel, having a lavish dinner with your friends and someone all of a sudden drops a bomb on your hotel and you are taken hostage and then killed for no fault of yours…!… It is so difficult to accept a heart-rending conclusion for no mistake of yours…
I just want to dedicate this to all those who lost their lives, whose families were destroyed, those who are injured and perhaps crippled forever, for the city, for all the citizens, for all those who were affected in any manner. This should not have happened. I pray for everyone affected…
(Song has been written by Amit Trivedi, from the soundtrack of Aamir, sung by Shilpa Rao)
Ek Lau Is Tarah Kyun Bhuji Mere Maula…
(Why was a flare extinguished like this, my Lord…)
Gardishon Mein Rehti, Behti Guzarthi,
Zindagi Aahein Kitni…
(Struggling through dark clouds, flowing, passing by,
There are so many lives [being lived]…)
In Mein Se Ek Hai, Teri Meri Agni,
Koi Ek Jaisi Apni…
(Your life and my life is just one flame amongst all of these)
Par Khuda Khair Kar, Aisa Anjaam Kisi Rooh Ko,
Na De Kabhi Yahaan…
Guncha Muskuratha Ek Waqt Se Pehle,
Kyun Chodd Chala Tera Yeh Jahaan…
(But God please, may no soul here receive, this kind of ending…
Why is it that a smiling bunch of flowers wilted/died before its time had come?)
{*writer refers to the gradual, sweet smelling natural death of a flower."}
Ek Lau Is Tarah Kyun Bhuji Mere Maula,
Ek Lau Zindagi Ki Maula.
(Why was a flare extinguished like this, my Lord,
A flare of Life, my Lord)
Dhoop Ke Ujaale Se, Aus Ke Pyaale Se,
Khushiyan Mile Humko…
Zyada Manga Hai Kahaan, Sarhadein Na Ho Jahaan,
Duniya Mile Humko…
(The light of the sunshine, the beauty of the morning dew,
We recieve joy from all of this…
Is it too much that we ask for a world with no borders*)
{*As in, borders/divisions between people, ethnicities, religions…symbolizing all artificially created conflict amongst humanity}
Par Khuda Khair Kar, Uske Armaan Mein Kyun
Bewaja Ho Koi Qurbaan,
Guncha Muskuratha Ek Waqt Se Pehle,
Kyun Chodd Chala Tera Yeh Jahaan…
(But God please, why should anyone be sacrificed to fulfill this desire*…
Why is it that a smiling bunch of flowers wilted/died before its time had come?)
{*Why should there be sacrifice for the sake of creating this division-less, conflict-free society?}
Ek Lau Is Tarah Kyun Bhuji Mere Maula,
Ek Lau Zindagi Ki Maula. (2)
(Why was a flare extinguished like this, my Lord,
A flare of Life, my Lord)
Saturday, 17 July 2010
Taking for Granted….
Last week while I was traveling in a rickshaw, there was a girl who was screaming on phone – “you better don’t talk like that. Do not take me for granted. Understand?...”. she was probably screaming at her boy friend. Then I thought- wow, this is a nice topic to write on! when and why do we take someone or something for granted! That “someone” could be parents, friends, boyfriend, girlfriend, boss, etc. So here, I am gonna try to analyse a few situations where we take someone for granted.
1) Taking “being good-hearted” for granted: This, I think, is the worst mistake any person can make! I have a friend of mine who is looking out for a life partner. I asked her “hey, what all qualities would you look out for in a boy?” She said “education, money, job,good looks, hmmm…..that is it.” I asked “what about good nature, willingness to keep you happy all your life, being supportive, urge to be always by your side?” She said “Dipen, that is obvious. Yeh qualities to usme hoga hi…” Then I wondered how easily one takes “good nature, being supportive, willingness to keep you happy all your life, urge to be always by your side” for granted! These, according to me, are the prime-most important things. What is the use of a life partner who lacks in these qualities, but is highly-educated, earns 1 lakh per month, looks like Robert Pattinson? I know that some of you who are reading this blog and who know me might start judging me about my disregard for looks and money (bcos I don’t have either); but, trust me, these are temporary things. In the long run, what matters is “good nature, being supportive, willingness to keep you happy all your life, urge to be always by your side”. These qualities won’t fade away that easily, unless they hadn’t come deep down from the heart. Think about a situation where in a girl starts liking a boy just on the basis of good looks. In this case, what is happening is that the girl likes the “external appearance” of the boy. Tomorrow, unfortunately if that boy meets with an accident and his face gets disfigured and starts looking “non-handsome”, chances are very high that the girl will start searching out a guy who looks like her boyfriend-prior-to-accident. Getting my point? Same is the case with money. Money, looks, job, name, fame, etc. are temporary things in life. So, never ever base your love on temporary things in life. Always think about what is important in the long run. You can surely spend your life in a 1 BHK with a good hearted guy, but I am sure you can’t spend your life in a plush 4 BHK with a guy who doesn’t really care about your life, happiness and respect! Think about it !!!!!!
2) Taking your friends for granted: Every friend on this earth is a stranger to us before we start finding a friend in that person. In the initial stages of friendship, we take care not to hurt a person’s feelings. Later on, we start feeling “chhod naa, apna hi to dost hai” and for fun or to impress people around, we start screwing that friend left and right! Just for fun! That is when the elastic breaks and friendship gets strained. We take the friend for granted and feel that “wo to kuch nahi bolega, apna dost hai wo”. But, you never know when you must start losing respect in the eyes of that friend of yours. And the moment that respect is lost, friendship can’t stand on its feet for long either! So, never ever take your friends for granted.
3) Taking your body parts for granted: Have you ever seen adrenaline junkies drive cars or bikes at unimaginable speeds? Have you ever travelled in local trains in Mumbai? If you have, then you must have seen rowdy, dare-devils try their acrobatic feats while standing on the door. They lean out of the train as much as possible and when the train approaches a pole, they, in the nick of time, pull themselves in and evade the pole. They get a kick out of this! But, they tend to forget how important each body part is. Ask a deaf or dumb or a blind person the importance of ear, ability to speak or eyes respectively. Ask a person who lost has a leg in an accident the importance of a leg of ask a person who has lost a hand in some factory-related-accident. You will realize how easily we take “being 100% complete” for granted! Care for your body parts. Be thankful to god if you are not handicapped in any sense.
4) Taking your parents for granted: To be continued….
5) Taking your boss for granted:
Saturday, 10 July 2010
what is a failure?
Every year, when the results of 10th and 12th std are declared, we see newspapers flooded with news of students attempting suicide because they thought that they could not meet their or their parents expectations and thus decided that they were a ‘failure’. So, I wondered why and how does one decide that one is failure and is it worth to give up life for just a ‘failure’?...
Open a Microsoft word document. Type “failure” and right click on it and go to Synonyms and you will find these alternatives for failure - breakdown, stoppage, malfunction, crash, letdown, not a success, collapse, disappointment. Just like many synonyms for failure, there are many reasons for one to consider oneself a failure. Failure is a very subjective term. It means different to different people. Let me take the example of students.
The current world is just too much bugged by the ‘Comparison Syndrome’. There is so much competition out there. Every parent wants their child to be the best/the topper/the Most X or Most Y or Most Z! Parents should remember that the topmost position can always be held by only kid. Out of a class of 70 students, there can be only one topper. The rest 69 are not toppers. But, the fact that your kid is amongst those 69 non-toppers doesn’t make your kid a failure. Trying your best to achieve your target is more important that being an achiever. There is nothing wrong in expecting your child to be one of the best; but parents should never create a mind-set that ‘being in the 69 non-toppers’ list is a crime’. There is no definite list of parameters that defines your kid to be ‘the best’ or ‘a failure’. There can be late bloomers. It is quite possible that your kid might not perform well in school, but being a very creative kid, he might excel later on in the creative world or if he is good in sports, then he might achieve something great at state level or national level! The performance in the first 16 yrs in not at all a indicator of how successful or otherwise your kid will turn out to be!
When we are in the impressionable age, we easily get affected or crumbled by external factors. There can be peer pressure, parental pressure, pressure of meeting one’s own expectation, etc. which can drive a kid mad and make him/her feel that he/she ‘is not at par’ with the world around. When such feelings occupy the mind more than any other positive thought, kids start considering themselves failure and since they don’t want to let their parents down, they think that giving up their life is the only solution to the problem. But, they forget that suicide is never ever ever ever a solution to a problem. NO PARENT on earth will be happy to see the failure of their kid be compensated with his/her life. Please remember that there IS ALWAYS a next time. Sun sets down to come up the next morning. I strongly feel that there are so many things for one to learn from nature. Have you ever cared to observe the persistence of waves? I like the fact that the sea waves incessantly keep coming to the shore as if they are challenging the boundaries and are shouting at them ―hey you boundaries, you know what, you are just a structure made of rocks and cement. We have all the power to fight you and destroy you someday. We will keep splashing against you till the day you are worn out. We won’t give up easily. That is the kind of attitude we should have in life.
Dear kids,
Never ever ever think yourself to be a failure. There is nothing wrong in being a late-bloomer. Sooner or later, every kid grows up to be someone that others will look up to! Your parents love you very much and trust me, they will never be happy without you. Have a lot of self-belief and self-confidence in whatever you do in life. Perseverance pays.
Dear parents,
Every kid in this world is different! I feel that parents should follow the "Appreciate the potential. Don’t force anyone to emulate someone else" policy.
One should be motivated. Not be compared.
One should be shown a rosy picture to pep up and achieve that thing. Not be compared.
One should be told about the positive effects of doing a particular thing. Not be compared.
All in all, for god’s sake, stop comparing your kid with others! Tell the child to score 100/100 and not try to be some "Arun" who scores 95!
Wednesday, 28 April 2010
Those last four biscuits…
This is the first time that I am attempting an article in a very different way. Let me tell you beforehand the gist of this article – jiske naseeb mein jo likha hai, wo usiko milta hai!!!
There are 2 main characters in this real life incidence.
1) The beggar on the foot-over-bridge of Goregaon station.
2) myself.
I will describe the incidence at various points in time.
The night before this incidence happened:
1) That beggar must have requested God to make her next day better than her present day.
2) I requested God to convince the Mayor of Mumbai to inaugurate my book.
11.45 AM that day:
1) That beggar must have been begging since morning but not got anything from the commuters passing by her.
2) The meeting with the Mayor was fruitful and she told me to go to BMC office at CST and confirm the timing.
1.00 PM that day:
1) That beggar must have stared at her bowl and must have wondered as to why did she get just 2 coins of Re.1 since morning. Where did all the kindness from people’s heart go?
2) After a very tiring morning, I was very hungry and so bought a packet of HIDE-N-SEEK at CST station. I was sitting at the window seat and was being happy at the fact that Mayor of Mumbai was ready to launch my book. I tore open the packet of biscuits and was so hungry that I had decided that I would eat all the biscuits in one go!
1.15 PM that day:
1) That beggar must have lost all the hope of a positive day ahead.
2) Out of 12 biscuits, I ate 8 and wanted to eat something salty. A Groundnutwala came and I took groundnuts worth 5 rupees. I started eating groundnuts and in the next 5 minutes my hunger vanished.
1.20 PM that day:
1) That beggar must have got one Re.1 coin from some good-hearted commuter.
2) There were only 4 HIDE-N-SEEK biscuits left in the packet. I was not willing to eat any further. I didn’t want to throw away the biscuits and so I was waiting for some urchin to come into the bogie and thereby I would have done away with the biscuits in a proper way.
1.40 PM that day:
1) That beggar must have started wondering “does God exist?”
2) The train reached Bandra station. I still had those last 4 biscuits with me. Since I hadn’t found any urchin in the last 20 minutes, I had kept those 4 biscuits in the bag. Just as the train was about to start from Bandra station, one beggar suddenly flashed in front of my eyes. Just as I was about to take out those last 4 biscuits, the train gathered speed and that beggar was nowhere in sight! I missed the chance of getting rid of those 4 biscuits…
1.45 PM that day:
1) That beggar must have lost all the hope of having a good day ahead.
2) The train reached Khar Road station. I was standing at the door and was so frustrated of having those last 4 biscuits with me that I was thinking of throwing those biscuits on the track.
1.46 PM that day:
1) Somehow, God thought “enough was enough” and thought of making that beggar happy!
2) Just as I was about to throw those last 4 biscuits away, I changed my mind and kept that packet again in the bag.
2.05 PM that day:
1) That beggar must have started believing that her day would be as ordinary as any other day!
2) I alighted at Goregaon station. I normally take the 2nd foot-over-bridge. I changed my mind and took the 1st foot-over-bridge (the one on which that beggar was sitting).
2.06 PM that day:
1) That beggar must have started hating God and must have thought of going to sleep in the midst of hot afternoon.
2) Just as I was passing by that beggar, I first chose to ignore that beggar. But, suddenly I changed my mind and took out those last 4 HIDE-N-SEEK biscuits and gave them to the beggar.
2.07 PM that day:
1) That beggar became happy!!!!!
2) I became happy because I did a good deed and also I got rid of those last 4 biscuits…!
All in all, from the above real life incidence, I strongly feel that – jiske naseeb mein jo hai, wo use milta hi hai!...
Think about it………..!
Wednesday, 14 April 2010
the launch of IN THEIR SHOES…
11th april 2010 was the best day of my life!... This was the day when my first book – in Their Shoes…- got launched at Crossword Powai. The number of “Thank you”s or “Oh..Thanks so much” that I said must have easily crossed a million! :D… I was so much used to saying those words that day that this is how any conversation must have gone:
Someone: What is your name..?
Me: Thank you..!
Someone : where do u live?..
Me: oh..thanks so much!
Someone: which train do you take everyday?..
Me: oh..thanks a ton!...
I mean, that day I felt as if the only words in my vocabulary were “Thank you” and “oh..thanks so much”…! The day started pretty well. I got up at 7.00, prepared my speech by 9.00 and left for Crossword at 9.20...
The book launch was to start at 11.30. I reached there by 11.15 and was surprised to see people already waiting for me! :D… I felt so nice!... I met those who were waiting for me and then went inside the store and met the store manager – Tom Jose.
The launch started at 11.50 AM. The chief guest – Joseph sir sat on the first chair. I sat in the middle and Prashant Karhade (the publisher) sat to my left. Algane- the compere introduced us to the audience. After a small introduction of 3 of us, we launched the book. ie unwrapped 3 copies of my book. and then stood posing those 3 copies! Flashes went on capturing the best moment of my life. I had the widest smile ever on my face. That was the best moment of my life. A book at the age of 26! I had a sense of achievement! I had something that I would be proud of myself for the rest of my life! Joseph sir was the first one to give the speech. He talked about me as his student and then about my book and its characters. After sir, Prashant Karhade gave the speech and then it was my turn to say a few words. The first speech of my life! (giving speeches in school and college was nothing in front of this…) It took me a few seconds to control my smile. I started – “good afternoon to u all…..” (u can watch the video of my speech in a day or two…). The moment I was done with my speech, there was a loud round of applause. Wow!... I could see proud faces, smiling faces, happy faces! I can’t tell you how happy I became when I could see that I had made so many people proud of me.
After my speech was over, Dutta aunty and Patwala uncle said a few kind words that came from the bottom of their heart. Later on, began the Book-signing spree! I can’t tell you how happy I was when I started giving autographs to people. This was the template that I followed:
To XYZ,
With
Best
Wishes….
From,
My signature …
after every autograph, a picture used to be clicked. Wow!.... you had to be there to see how happy I was!..
the following are the links for the pics and video:
1) Photos :
http://picasaweb.google.com/dipenambalia/LaunchOfMyBookINTHEIRSHOES#
2) Videos:
My speech at the launch:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R0RywN0TmYE
Jospeh sir’s introduction:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRugIlpl6AM
The very beginning of the launch:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kL0xyvvE-XQ
All in all, 11th april 2010 easily became the best day of my life till now. My dream of becoming a writer came true that day.
Wednesday, 31 March 2010
Social Transformation Through Book…
Normally, we buy a book to unwind ourselves by reading some humorous stuff, or we buy a book to help ourselves by reading some fundas of life by some spiritual guru or someone. Sometimes we read a book to know facts of some event or a personality. In short, every book serves a purpose for which the author and publisher have spent so much time, money and effort on a book. Similarly, I started writing the book – In Their Shoes… - with the intention of ‘opening the eyes’ of my readers to the ordinary people around us. In other words, I want to bring out a social transformation with my book. I know that this statement might seem to be an overstatement. But, that is the truth! Let me explicitly define the purpose that each of my characters or chapters wishes to accomplish:
1) Bindiya – A Drummer’s daughter:
a) Despite all the poverty in life, life can be lived happily if you know what to and how much to expect from life.
b) A 7 yr old girl doesn’t always need a remote-controlled car or a lavish birthday treat at a mall to be happy.
c) Even travelling once in an A/C bus can be a big thing for some people.
d) You can feel proud of your parents even if they are not MDs or CEOs of any big organization.
2) A 24 year old mentally challenged girl:
a) There are very few people on earth who can feel happiness out of the same ‘ordinary’ and ‘mundane’ things happening around us. When was the last time that you took out time to enjoy a sunrise or a sunset?
b) Next time you see a cute puppy running after its mother, observe whether that puppy is just playing with its mother or whether it is running after its mother for the fear of losing her…
c) If God snatches away one sense from us, he makes sure that some other sense strong.
d) Accept the fact that not everyone on earth can calculate “19 X 7” in less than 10 seconds.
e) ‘Being different ‘ is just a relative term.
3) A heart-broken lover boy:
a) If you love or like someone, that doesn’t guarantee you that you would be loved or liked back.
b) If a person doesn’t like you, then you can’t force that person to like you either!
c) One way relationships never work.
d) You should care for those who care for you. Caring for those who don’t care for you is not going to help the either of you.
e) Love is not as simple and straightforward as mathematics! As a normal human being, we always keep searching for the love that evades us. We always keep being restless for things that we don’t have. It is never too late to take stock of what we have in life and be happy with that rather than running after a mirage!
4) Phobic:
a) It is not abnormal to have phobias of water, space, speed, height, etc… TRYING to get rid of such phobias is important.
b) If a person doesn’t react instantly to any threat, that doesn’t mean that he is a coward.
5) 8th std kid – Vineet:
a) For god’s sake, stop comparing your child with some Vijay or Rahul or Ramesh who score 93/100 in a subject!
b) Try to understand that every child tries his/her best to meet and exceed parents’ expectations. Don’t stress your children too much. You never know when the elastic might snap!
c) Every human being on this has a crush on someone. Some say it early, some say it later, some never say! Which category do you belong to?
d) Try to look at the positives in your child than crib about what your child lacks! Capitalizing on your strengths is more important than crying over deficiencies!
6) A Saadhu Baba:
a) When the philosophy of our life doesn’t match the philosophy of the society around us, we may start think of giving up the materialistic pleasures for the peace and love in the woods and for the pursuit of finding the TRUE SELF.
b) if you are a part of the system, then you have to abide by its rules. If you try to go against the mechanics of the system, you will be thrown out or will be forced to leave the system!
c) Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you are gonna get….
7) A struggling writer:
a) Good things take time and efforts to come by.
b) Having self-belief is THE most important thing when you set out to try something new in life!...
c) When you go off the path to do something new, 99 % of the people will tell you that what you are doing is wrong and foolish. Trust the rest 1% and yourself. You will achieve what you aim for. I can vouch for this fact. In fact, 40 % of the content of this chapter is based on my life!!!
8) A broke 77 year old man living in a 140 sqft hut:
a) We are brought up being told – Give respect to get respect…in other words, before you expect to get something, do learn to give something to the world. But, sadly, this is not how the world works.
b) Sometimes you spend a lifetime, but don’t realise what your fault was which forced you to be best friends with sadness, misery and darkness.
c) Sometimes, strangers give more love than your loved ones.
9) Gatekeeper of Ashabai old age home:
a) Parents are another form of God. Respect them. Love them. Not everyone is lucky to be with the ones they love.
b) Values matter a lot. How you bring up your child is more important than whether he stands first in class or excels in sports or elocution.
c) Invest in relations. This is the best type of investment. You never know which relative might turn up as an angel in your life.
d) The sooner you accept the reality, the more time you will have to enjoy the remaining life.
Tuesday, 30 March 2010
Why one should read my book- In their shoes…
To help you decide whether you should read this book, please go through following 8 questions. If your answer is “NO” to even one of the questions, then you got to read “In Their Shoes…”
1) Have you ever wondered about the life of an urchin living under a flyover in Mumbai?... have you ever thought of how her daily routine must be?..Have you cared to think how, if she ever attends a wedding with her drummer father, perceives the whole lavish wedding?
2) Most of you must have seen the movie ‘Sadma’ starring Sri Devi and Kamal Hassan. But, after the movie was over, have you ever wondered how difficult or different life of a mentally challenged girl is?... have you ever about how different is ‘achievement’ or ‘dreams’ or ‘happiness’ from what it means to others?
3) Every teenager goes through phases of being in love, being in depression because of rejection, etc. have you ever wondered how it feels when you try your best to make someone happy, but that ‘someone’ doesn’t want to be made happy by you. He/she likes someone else and wants to receive her/his SMS, CALL, and EMAIL…etc…! Have you cared to learn about the lessons from such experiences from life???
4) I am sure that you must have met at least one of your friends or acquaintainces or relatives having fear of water or trains or crowded places or something. Do you know how an extreme phobic would behave?
5) A kid from 8th std carries at least 8-9 books- class work and homework and journals, etc. every day. He fills unnecessary books like lesson diaries and tries his best to be the come first in the rat-race to be the ‘best’ rat amongst all other rats. Even he hates he is compared to other his peers or seniors or juniors! Have you ever tried to think by being in the shoes of an 8th kid???
6) Sometime or the other you have must have been to a religious place or must have seen the saadhu babas treading the path of difficult path to salvation… have you ever thought of why he must have thought of giving up the pleasures in life and how he inteprets life?...
7) Whenever we read a book, we may like it or hate it. If we like it, then we say “wow…kya likha hai!!” But, when the book is bad, we curse him/her for writing a useless book. But, have you ever thought how difficult it is to write a book? Have you ever wondered what pain, time and effort goes into making a book? Have you ever thought how difficult it is for an electrical engineer to write a book? (considering the fact that, by societal standards, Engineers are not allowed to be creative!)
8) Till this day we have seen many movies shot at some old age home or the other. The life of an old person is very different at home where he/she is neglected by his/her own children from the life at the old-age home where he/she has the freedom to live the life that he/she wants! Have you wondered how they feel, what they do the whole day and how they keep themselves alive to see the next day?
(I could have put a few more questions, but I knew that my purpose would be solved by the above eight questions!)
A Sample Book Proposal
The Name of Book…
By: Author’s name
XYZ Publications
Table of Contents
1) Preface
2) List of Chapters
3) Why one should care to read?
4) Synopsis
5) Why XYZ Publications should publish this book?
6) How can we market the book?
7) 3 stories : a) 1st chapter
b) 2nd chapter
c) 3rd Chapter
8) Acknowledgements
9) My Resume
Preface
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The list of Chapters
1. 1st chapter
2. 2nd chapter
3. 3rd chapter
4. 4th chapter
5. 5th chapter
6. 6th chapter
7. 7th chapter
8. 8th chapter
9. 9th chapter
10. 10th chapter
11. 11th chapter
12. 12th chapter
Why should one care to read?
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About the author
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Sunday, 28 March 2010
“Q and A” for my book – In Their Shoes…
1. Hello Dipen, tell us something about 'IN THEIR SHOES...'.
Hi. “In Their Shoes” is an English phrase, which means, ‘from other’s angle’. This book is about how the world looks by being in the shoes of different people such as – a 24 year old mentally challenged girl, an uneducated corrupt politician, a saadhu baba, etc…I have take such 17 different and ordinary characters and have tried to visualize how the world looks like from their angle…
2. How did you think of the concept of this book?
Last February, I attended a wedding of a cousin of mine. In that wedding was a drummer who was playing drums. Along with the drummer was his daughter in a red colored frock. She kept on observing my sister who dressed as beautifully as a fairy; She kept on looking at the stage where the pheraas were going on, She kept looking at the decoration all around, the guests dressed in their best, etc… All this while, I was wondering as what she must be thinking about this whole wedding and that is how I came up with the first character of my book…I then made a list of 25 characters for the book and started visualizing the world from their angle.
3. And in what span did you complete the writing process?
It took me 1 month to make the book proposal and then 3 months to complete the whole book.
4. You must be kidding! You just took 3 months to complete the whole book?
Hahahahahaha..yes… seriously. See, the thing is that people normally believe that writers take at least a year or so to complete a book. I guess it is a myth that a writer HAS to take at least a year to imagine, draft and complete the manuscript. “In Their Shoes…” has 17 different characters. So, all I had to do was to get ‘into the character’ of one character and fully complete that character and then move onto the next character. Being simultaneously in the shoes of 2 or more characters is mentally very draining.
5. But, how was it that you used to write a whole story? I mean, what was the thought process and all behind every story?
That’s a good question. Before starting with any character, I used to spend a lot of time imagining that character. Once that was done, I used to take an imaginary interview of that character. I used to ask questions like “what was the most happiest or depressing moment of your life?” or “what are your dreams?” etc. Then I used to ‘get into that character’ and then try to visualize the world around! That helped me try to understand the psychology of that character very easily.
6. Can you give us any example of that?
Oh sure! Hmm… let me take the example of a character called as “8th std kid – Vineet”. This is kind of a character that I would like to be if God gives me a chance to rewind my life. The way he behaves in front of Rhea-his crush, the love-letter that he writes, the way he enjoys his life in school, the way he plays pranks on his friends and teachers….all that is what I would like to do if I get a chance to rewind my life!... Ok, so before I started writing “Vineet”, I took an imaginary interview of that naughty character. Along with the naughtiness of that character, I also realized that there are many other serious issues that should be raised – like for example – the Comparison syndrome, the usless lesson diaries that we complete, etc… I have tried my best to touch upon those issues too… I hope the readers understand those points properly…
7. You have highlighted some social problems creatively, with a touch of humor. Did this serious writing, anytime, take a toll on you?
Oh yes!... It’s mentally very tiring to be in some other character and visualize the world around that character. Initially, I was going to write on 25 characters. But, after writing 17 characters, I felt really drained out! I mean, it is very difficult to keep hopping from one shoe to the other and try to FEEL or SEE the world around. There were a few characters that were very easy to write and a few very very difficult to write. For example, I thought of writing a character called as “Saadhu baba”. One day, after coming from office, I sat down to write 6 pages of this character. I kept typing from 11.30 PM to 3.30 AM! I was so much into the character that I could literally see a hut, a dense forest, a stream of clear water flowing beside a hut, the froth getting generated in that stream flowed! I am sure that if I hadn’t stopped writing that character at that point, then I would have gone mad!!! :-D.. One needs to know when to give up on a character! I have tried my best to compare Froth in a stream to the way we live life. The last 3 pages of this character are on different interpretations of life. I hope you like those different perspectives on life…
8. Coming to you, how and when did you take up writing?
I had been blogging since april 2007. But I wasn’t serious about it till last year. The book-writing bug bit me in the start of 2009. In March 2009, I started writing a book (which I might think of publishing if you all accept me as a writer and if my publisher thinks that it is a good book) based on the life of an imaginary Gujarati character. After writing some 100 pages, I circulated it amongst my friends. The response that I got from them was just amazing! I mean, I couldn’t believe that my book would be liked by my friends so much! In a hurry, I made a book proposal and sent it to the top publishers in India. In a week’s time, my work was rejected! I tried to analyze the reason of my first failure. I still believe that the reason of my book getting rejected was that I hadn’t made a good book-proposal. But, one of my friends from office told me that he felt that a serious book would work and that I was good at writing serious stuff. I thought chalo serious book likh ke dekhte hain… Then I spent a week brainstorming over topics. I came up with 5 topics and finalized on “In Their Shoes…”! Since childhood, I have been fascinated by trying to visualize what others keep thinking. Whenever I travel, I look at people around and try to visualize as to what they must be thinking. Do you remember the essay questions in school exams? Out of 4 topics for essay questions, there used to be at least one topic on Autobiography of XYZ (xyz could be anything – Rs. 5 note, a donkey, a horse, a pen, etc.) I always used to attempt Autobiography questions. I somehow had a knack of thinking from others’ angles. After finalizing the topic – In Their Shoes…, I started thinking about the characters on which I would write the book.
9. Do you want to convert your passion into profession? What/Who was the motivation/inspiration behind you taking up the task of book writing?
Sure! I do want to take up writing as a profession. See, in today’s time, I sincerely believe that a person should have a passion or a hobby which he can convert into his main profession by the age of 40 or 45. So, pursue a job out of your qualification and work till the age of 40 or 45. Simultaneously, start nurturing your passion slowly and steadily so that when you are bored of your 9 to 5 job, you can bank upon your passion to sail you through the rest of your life. I am lucky that I tried to take my passion to the next level so early and if my dear readers accept me as a writer, then I would surely like to churn out more books!
10. Lastly, do you want to give any message to your readers?
There is one very simple message that I want to give to my readers. See, if you open a dictionary and try to find the meaning of ‘ordinary‘, you will find it defined as people or things that are normal and not special or different in any way. Simplicity appeals to me a lot. And I feel that ordinary people are simple people. But, the problem with this world is that for you to get noticed by the world, you have to be something great or different. Simplicity simply goes unnoticed. That is why I chose to write on such simple and ordinary characters that we see every day but don‘t ‗observe‘! I want the world to take notice of such simple characters too! Even those ordinary characters have a story to tell; even they have a life that you would be intrigued by; even they have a wish, a few moments of sadness, happiness, many unfulfilled dreams...
The next time you see an ‘ordinary‘ person around you, take a few moments out of your precious time to ‗observe‘ him/her. In short, try to be in their shoes, and be happy that God has at least been more kind to you than majority of the people around you!
If you all accept me as a good writer, then I would like to come up with few more books that have ‗’ordinary‘ characters as the protagonists. I want my book(s) to be
By the ordinary,
For the ordinary
and Of the ordinary!