what is a failure?

Every year, when the results of 10^th and 12^th std are declared, we see newspapers flooded with news of students attempting suicide because they thought that they could not meet their or their parents expectations and thus decided that they were a ‘failure’. So, I wondered why and how does one decide that one is failure and is it worth to give up life for just a ‘failure’?...

Open a Microsoft word document. Type “failure” and right click on it and go to Synonyms and you will find these alternatives for failure - breakdown, stoppage, malfunction, crash, letdown, not a success, collapse, disappointment. Just like many synonyms for failure, there are many reasons for one to consider oneself a failure. Failure is a very subjective term. It means different to different people. Let me take the example of students.

The current world is just too much bugged by the ‘Comparison Syndrome’. There is so much competition out there. Every parent wants their child to be the best/the topper/the Most X or Most Y or Most Z! Parents should remember that the topmost position can always be held by only kid. Out of a class of 70 students, there can be only one topper. The rest 69 are not toppers. But, the fact that your kid is amongst those 69 non-toppers doesn’t make your kid a failure. Trying your best to achieve your target is more important that being an achiever. There is nothing wrong in expecting your child to be one of the best; but parents should never create a mind-set that ‘being in the 69 non-toppers’ list is a crime’. There is no definite list of parameters that defines your kid to be ‘the best’ or ‘a failure’. There can be late bloomers. It is quite possible that your kid might not perform well in school, but being a very creative kid, he might excel later on in the creative world or if he is good in sports, then he might achieve something great at state level or national level! The performance in the first 16 yrs in not at all a indicator of how successful or otherwise your kid will turn out to be!

When we are in the impressionable age, we easily get affected or crumbled by external factors. There can be peer pressure, parental pressure, pressure of meeting one’s own expectation, etc. which can drive a kid mad and make him/her feel that he/she ‘is not at par’ with the world around. When such feelings occupy the mind more than any other positive thought, kids start considering themselves failure and since they don’t want to let their parents down, they think that giving up their life is the only solution to the problem. But, they forget that suicide is never ever ever ever a solution to a problem. NO PARENT on earth will be happy to see the failure of their kid be compensated with his/her life. Please remember that there IS ALWAYS a next time. Sun sets down to come up the next morning. I strongly feel that there are so many things for one to learn from nature. Have you ever cared to observe the persistence of waves? I like the fact that the sea waves incessantly keep coming to the shore as if they are challenging the boundaries and are shouting at them ―hey you boundaries, you know what, you are just a structure made of rocks and cement. We have all the power to fight you and destroy you someday. We will keep splashing against you till the day you are worn out. We won’t give up easily. That is the kind of attitude we should have in life.

Dear kids,

Never ever ever think yourself to be a failure. There is nothing wrong in being a late-bloomer. Sooner or later, every kid grows up to be someone that others will look up to! Your parents love you very much and trust me, they will never be happy without you. Have a lot of self-belief and self-confidence in whatever you do in life. Perseverance pays.

Dear parents,

Every kid in this world is different! I feel that parents should follow the "Appreciate the potential. Don’t force anyone to emulate someone else" policy.

One should be motivated. Not be compared.

One should be shown a rosy picture to pep up and achieve that thing. Not be compared.

One should be told about the positive effects of doing a particular thing. Not be compared.

All in all, for god’s sake, stop comparing your kid with others! Tell the child to score 100/100 and not try to be some "Arun" who scores 95!