A few lessons in life…

Recently a few things happened in my life and that is why they have made me sit down and introspect as to where I have gone wrong in life and it is time for me to learn from my mistakes… and I thought that it would be good if you all can learn a few things from what I have learnt in my life… btw, after reading this blog, you might start judging me. But it is ok for me, as long as you learn something from this blog… btw, this blog is about what I have learnt from my mistakes and others’ too!...

1) Respect your parents: Day before yesterday, I was standing at a bus-stop and there was a poor woman who was lying on the bench of the bus-stop on the other side of the road. She was shivering. Her son, around 5 yrs old, was not able to figure out what needed to be done. A middle-class person standing nearby took pity on that poor woman and gave a 20-rupee note to that small kid and told him to get some tea and biscuit for his mother. That small kid ran to the nearest kirana-store to get some biscuit. While returning, he got some tea too. The tea was packed in a small plastic and he had 2 empty glasses in hand. Being so small, he wasn’t able to pour the tea from plastic into those 2 tea-cups. He tried once to pour that hot tea into tea-cups. But, his little fingers got scathed and then his mother got up with great difficulty and poured tea and then they ate a few biscuits. After eating one biscuit, that small boy started massaging her mother’s forehead. The poor woman, after eating a few biscuits, slept for a while. That small kid made sure that his mother’s body was properly covered with her dupatta.

I was so moved by that episode that it has changed me for good. Being the creators of our lives, parents deserve respect and love from us. I guess, when we become parents someday, we would realize this ourselves…

2) Never break your friend’s trust: A month ago I did something I repented for a month long! I broke my friend’s trust. I will not go into the details of what happened and all, rather I would jot down what I learnt from that mistake of mine.

a) Every friendship demands a level of trust and make sure that you never do anything that would make the trust go down below that level.

b) Treat the other person how she/he wants to be treated and not the way you want to treat them.

c) Friendship is like a piece of cloth. Once it tears apart, it is very difficult to get it into its original form. Only in the rarest of rare cases can the friendship come into its original form. (I am happy that in my case, the things are as normal as it were earlier; in fact better than earlier because I know that I am not going to make the same mistake again!)

d) Don’t try to test the elasticity of your friendship. Every friendship has a set of untold barriers and rules. Respect them. As they say, there is no use crying over spilt milk! Watch while the milk is boiling so that it doesn’t spill over!

3) Know when to ‘give up’: In one of my earlier blogs, I had written about the importance of never giving up. I would like to mention that the “never give up” principle doesn’t work in everything in life. Know where to give up and where not to give up! Chasing mirages never helps!

4) Be free from OCD (obsessive compulsive disorders): Many people in this world suffer from OCDs. OCDs can be related to your anger, kindness, etc. I have an OCD of helping people. I am not trying to blow my own trumpet, but I feel an obsessive compulsion to help people. Like for example, if some GRE-aspirant asks for little guidance regarding GRE, I go to the extent of sharing my phone number and charting out a GRE-Preparation plan for that person. At times, I even call up that GRE-aspirant and ask about the status of his/her preparation! I mean, this is height! I don’t know why I should care for some stranger! I am working on this OCD of helping people. The problem with this OCD is that many people start devaluing you for this kind attitude. People start feeling “isko to kuch kaam dhandha hi nahi…pagal hai ye jo kisi stranger ke liye itna fight maar raha hai”…I now help only 2 out 10 people who approach me for help! If you have such OCD, pls rethink about it! It might land you in some trouble, someday!

Ek Lau Is Tarah Kyun Bujhi Mere Maula….

“Ek Lau Is Tarah..” is a song from the movie AAMIR. This is my most favorite song ever! mainly because of the meaning and the soft background music… The first time i heard this song was at the time of 26/11 Mumbai attacks. There used to be a video that showed the carnage of the terrorist attack and then at the end there used to be a list of martyrs that scrolled up on the screen… all this had this beautiful song as the backdrop …

Almost every time i listen to this song, i have tears in my eyes… life is so fragile… i mean, you are sitting in TAJ hotel, having a lavish dinner with your friends and someone all of a sudden drops a bomb on your hotel and you are taken hostage and then killed for no fault of yours…!… It is so difficult to accept a heart-rending conclusion for no mistake of yours…

I just want to dedicate this to all those who lost their lives, whose families were destroyed, those who are injured and perhaps crippled forever, for the city, for all the citizens, for all those who were affected in any manner. This should not have happened. I pray for everyone affected…

 

(Song has been written by Amit Trivedi, from the soundtrack of Aamir, sung by Shilpa Rao)

 

Ek Lau Is Tarah Kyun Bhuji Mere Maula…

(Why was a flare extinguished like this, my Lord…)

Gardishon Mein Rehti, Behti Guzarthi,

Zindagi Aahein Kitni…

(Struggling through dark clouds, flowing, passing by,

There are so many lives [being lived]…)

In Mein Se Ek Hai, Teri Meri Agni,

Koi Ek Jaisi Apni…

(Your life and my life is just one flame amongst all of these)

Par Khuda Khair Kar, Aisa Anjaam Kisi Rooh Ko,

Na De Kabhi Yahaan…

Guncha Muskuratha Ek Waqt Se Pehle,

Kyun Chodd Chala Tera Yeh Jahaan…

(But God please, may no soul here receive, this kind of ending…

Why is it that a smiling bunch of flowers wilted/died before its time had come?)

{*writer refers to the gradual, sweet smelling natural death of a flower."}

Ek Lau Is Tarah Kyun Bhuji Mere Maula,

Ek Lau Zindagi Ki Maula.

(Why was a flare extinguished like this, my Lord,

A flare of Life, my Lord)

Dhoop Ke Ujaale Se, Aus Ke Pyaale Se,

Khushiyan Mile Humko…

Zyada Manga Hai Kahaan, Sarhadein Na Ho Jahaan,

Duniya Mile Humko…

(The light of the sunshine, the beauty of the morning dew,

We recieve joy from all of this…

Is it too much that we ask for a world with no borders*)

{*As in, borders/divisions between people, ethnicities, religions…symbolizing all artificially created conflict amongst humanity}

Par Khuda Khair Kar, Uske Armaan Mein Kyun

Bewaja Ho Koi Qurbaan,

Guncha Muskuratha Ek Waqt Se Pehle,

Kyun Chodd Chala Tera Yeh Jahaan…

(But God please, why should anyone be sacrificed to fulfill this desire*…

Why is it that a smiling bunch of flowers wilted/died before its time had come?)

{*Why should there be sacrifice for the sake of creating this division-less, conflict-free society?}

Ek Lau Is Tarah Kyun Bhuji Mere Maula,

Ek Lau Zindagi Ki Maula. (2)

(Why was a flare extinguished like this, my Lord,

A flare of Life, my Lord)

Taking for Granted….

Last week while I was traveling in a rickshaw, there was a girl who was screaming on phone – “you better don’t talk like that. Do not take me for granted. Understand?...”. she was probably screaming at her boy friend. Then I thought- wow, this is a nice topic to write on! when and why do we take someone or something for granted! That “someone” could be parents, friends, boyfriend, girlfriend, boss, etc. So here, I am gonna try to analyse a few situations where we take someone for granted.

1) Taking “being good-hearted” for granted: This, I think, is the worst mistake any person can make! I have a friend of mine who is looking out for a life partner. I asked her “hey, what all qualities would you look out for in a boy?” She said “education, money, job,good looks, hmmm…..that is it.” I asked “what about good nature, willingness to keep you happy all your life, being supportive, urge to be always by your side?” She said “Dipen, that is obvious. Yeh qualities to usme hoga hi…” Then I wondered how easily one takes “good nature, being supportive, willingness to keep you happy all your life, urge to be always by your side” for granted! These, according to me, are the prime-most important things. What is the use of a life partner who lacks in these qualities, but is highly-educated, earns 1 lakh per month, looks like Robert Pattinson? I know that some of you who are reading this blog and who know me might start judging me about my disregard for looks and money (bcos I don’t have either); but, trust me, these are temporary things. In the long run, what matters is “good nature, being supportive, willingness to keep you happy all your life, urge to be always by your side”. These qualities won’t fade away that easily, unless they hadn’t come deep down from the heart. Think about a situation where in a girl starts liking a boy just on the basis of good looks. In this case, what is happening is that the girl likes the “external appearance” of the boy. Tomorrow, unfortunately if that boy meets with an accident and his face gets disfigured and starts looking “non-handsome”, chances are very high that the girl will start searching out a guy who looks like her boyfriend-prior-to-accident. Getting my point? Same is the case with money. Money, looks, job, name, fame, etc. are temporary things in life. So, never ever base your love on temporary things in life. Always think about what is important in the long run. You can surely spend your life in a 1 BHK with a good hearted guy, but I am sure you can’t spend your life in a plush 4 BHK with a guy who doesn’t really care about your life, happiness and respect! Think about it !!!!!!

2) Taking your friends for granted: Every friend on this earth is a stranger to us before we start finding a friend in that person. In the initial stages of friendship, we take care not to hurt a person’s feelings. Later on, we start feeling “chhod naa, apna hi to dost hai” and for fun or to impress people around, we start screwing that friend left and right! Just for fun! That is when the elastic breaks and friendship gets strained. We take the friend for granted and feel that “wo to kuch nahi bolega, apna dost hai wo”. But, you never know when you must start losing respect in the eyes of that friend of yours. And the moment that respect is lost, friendship can’t stand on its feet for long either! So, never ever take your friends for granted.

3) Taking your body parts for granted: Have you ever seen adrenaline junkies drive cars or bikes at unimaginable speeds? Have you ever travelled in local trains in Mumbai? If you have, then you must have seen rowdy, dare-devils try their acrobatic feats while standing on the door. They lean out of the train as much as possible and when the train approaches a pole, they, in the nick of time, pull themselves in and evade the pole. They get a kick out of this! But, they tend to forget how important each body part is. Ask a deaf or dumb or a blind person the importance of ear, ability to speak or eyes respectively. Ask a person who lost has a leg in an accident the importance of a leg of ask a person who has lost a hand in some factory-related-accident. You will realize how easily we take “being 100% complete” for granted! Care for your body parts. Be thankful to god if you are not handicapped in any sense.

4) Taking your parents for granted: To be continued….

5) Taking your boss for granted:

what is a failure?

Every year, when the results of 10^th and 12^th std are declared, we see newspapers flooded with news of students attempting suicide because they thought that they could not meet their or their parents expectations and thus decided that they were a ‘failure’. So, I wondered why and how does one decide that one is failure and is it worth to give up life for just a ‘failure’?...

Open a Microsoft word document. Type “failure” and right click on it and go to Synonyms and you will find these alternatives for failure - breakdown, stoppage, malfunction, crash, letdown, not a success, collapse, disappointment. Just like many synonyms for failure, there are many reasons for one to consider oneself a failure. Failure is a very subjective term. It means different to different people. Let me take the example of students.

The current world is just too much bugged by the ‘Comparison Syndrome’. There is so much competition out there. Every parent wants their child to be the best/the topper/the Most X or Most Y or Most Z! Parents should remember that the topmost position can always be held by only kid. Out of a class of 70 students, there can be only one topper. The rest 69 are not toppers. But, the fact that your kid is amongst those 69 non-toppers doesn’t make your kid a failure. Trying your best to achieve your target is more important that being an achiever. There is nothing wrong in expecting your child to be one of the best; but parents should never create a mind-set that ‘being in the 69 non-toppers’ list is a crime’. There is no definite list of parameters that defines your kid to be ‘the best’ or ‘a failure’. There can be late bloomers. It is quite possible that your kid might not perform well in school, but being a very creative kid, he might excel later on in the creative world or if he is good in sports, then he might achieve something great at state level or national level! The performance in the first 16 yrs in not at all a indicator of how successful or otherwise your kid will turn out to be!

When we are in the impressionable age, we easily get affected or crumbled by external factors. There can be peer pressure, parental pressure, pressure of meeting one’s own expectation, etc. which can drive a kid mad and make him/her feel that he/she ‘is not at par’ with the world around. When such feelings occupy the mind more than any other positive thought, kids start considering themselves failure and since they don’t want to let their parents down, they think that giving up their life is the only solution to the problem. But, they forget that suicide is never ever ever ever a solution to a problem. NO PARENT on earth will be happy to see the failure of their kid be compensated with his/her life. Please remember that there IS ALWAYS a next time. Sun sets down to come up the next morning. I strongly feel that there are so many things for one to learn from nature. Have you ever cared to observe the persistence of waves? I like the fact that the sea waves incessantly keep coming to the shore as if they are challenging the boundaries and are shouting at them ―hey you boundaries, you know what, you are just a structure made of rocks and cement. We have all the power to fight you and destroy you someday. We will keep splashing against you till the day you are worn out. We won’t give up easily. That is the kind of attitude we should have in life.

Dear kids,

Never ever ever think yourself to be a failure. There is nothing wrong in being a late-bloomer. Sooner or later, every kid grows up to be someone that others will look up to! Your parents love you very much and trust me, they will never be happy without you. Have a lot of self-belief and self-confidence in whatever you do in life. Perseverance pays.

Dear parents,

Every kid in this world is different! I feel that parents should follow the "Appreciate the potential. Don’t force anyone to emulate someone else" policy.

One should be motivated. Not be compared.

One should be shown a rosy picture to pep up and achieve that thing. Not be compared.

One should be told about the positive effects of doing a particular thing. Not be compared.

All in all, for god’s sake, stop comparing your kid with others! Tell the child to score 100/100 and not try to be some "Arun" who scores 95!

Those last four biscuits…

This is the first time that I am attempting an article in a very different way. Let me tell you beforehand the gist of this article – jiske naseeb mein jo likha hai, wo usiko milta hai!!!

There are 2 main characters in this real life incidence.

1) The beggar on the foot-over-bridge of Goregaon station.

2) myself.

I will describe the incidence at various points in time.

The night before this incidence happened:

1) That beggar must have requested God to make her next day better than her present day.

2) I requested God to convince the Mayor of Mumbai to inaugurate my book.

11.45 AM that day:

1) That beggar must have been begging since morning but not got anything from the commuters passing by her.

2) The meeting with the Mayor was fruitful and she told me to go to BMC office at CST and confirm the timing.

1.00 PM that day:

1) That beggar must have stared at her bowl and must have wondered as to why did she get just 2 coins of Re.1 since morning. Where did all the kindness from people’s heart go?

2) After a very tiring morning, I was very hungry and so bought a packet of HIDE-N-SEEK at CST station. I was sitting at the window seat and was being happy at the fact that Mayor of Mumbai was ready to launch my book. I tore open the packet of biscuits and was so hungry that I had decided that I would eat all the biscuits in one go!

1.15 PM that day:

1) That beggar must have lost all the hope of a positive day ahead.

2) Out of 12 biscuits, I ate 8 and wanted to eat something salty. A Groundnutwala came and I took groundnuts worth 5 rupees. I started eating groundnuts and in the next 5 minutes my hunger vanished.

1.20 PM that day:

1) That beggar must have got one Re.1 coin from some good-hearted commuter.

2) There were only 4 HIDE-N-SEEK biscuits left in the packet. I was not willing to eat any further. I didn’t want to throw away the biscuits and so I was waiting for some urchin to come into the bogie and thereby I would have done away with the biscuits in a proper way.

1.40 PM that day:

1) That beggar must have started wondering “does God exist?”

2) The train reached Bandra station. I still had those last 4 biscuits with me. Since I hadn’t found any urchin in the last 20 minutes, I had kept those 4 biscuits in the bag. Just as the train was about to start from Bandra station, one beggar suddenly flashed in front of my eyes. Just as I was about to take out those last 4 biscuits, the train gathered speed and that beggar was nowhere in sight! I missed the chance of getting rid of those 4 biscuits…

1.45 PM that day:

1) That beggar must have lost all the hope of having a good day ahead.

2) The train reached Khar Road station. I was standing at the door and was so frustrated of having those last 4 biscuits with me that I was thinking of throwing those biscuits on the track.

1.46 PM that day:

1) Somehow, God thought “enough was enough” and thought of making that beggar happy!

2) Just as I was about to throw those last 4 biscuits away, I changed my mind and kept that packet again in the bag.

2.05 PM that day:

1) That beggar must have started believing that her day would be as ordinary as any other day!

2) I alighted at Goregaon station. I normally take the 2^nd foot-over-bridge. I changed my mind and took the 1^st foot-over-bridge (the one on which that beggar was sitting).

2.06 PM that day:

1) That beggar must have started hating God and must have thought of going to sleep in the midst of hot afternoon.

2) Just as I was passing by that beggar, I first chose to ignore that beggar. But, suddenly I changed my mind and took out those last 4 HIDE-N-SEEK biscuits and gave them to the beggar.

2.07 PM that day:

1) That beggar became happy!!!!!

2) I became happy because I did a good deed and also I got rid of those last 4 biscuits…!

All in all, from the above real life incidence, I strongly feel that – jiske naseeb mein jo hai, wo use milta hi hai!...

Think about it………..!

the launch of IN THEIR SHOES…

11^th april 2010 was the best day of my life!... This was the day when my first book – in Their Shoes…- got launched at Crossword Powai. The number of “Thank you”s or “Oh..Thanks so much” that I said must have easily crossed a million! :D… I was so much used to saying those words that day that this is how any conversation must have gone:

Someone: What is your name..?

Me: Thank you..!

Someone : where do u live?..

Me: oh..thanks so much!

Someone: which train do you take everyday?..

Me: oh..thanks a ton!...

I mean, that day I felt as if the only words in my vocabulary were “Thank you” and “oh..thanks so much”…! The day started pretty well. I got up at 7.00, prepared my speech by 9.00 and left for Crossword at 9.20...

The book launch was to start at 11.30. I reached there by 11.15 and was surprised to see people already waiting for me! :D… I felt so nice!... I met those who were waiting for me and then went inside the store and met the store manager – Tom Jose.

The launch started at 11.50 AM. The chief guest – Joseph sir sat on the first chair. I sat in the middle and Prashant Karhade (the publisher) sat to my left. Algane- the compere introduced us to the audience. After a small introduction of 3 of us, we launched the book. ie unwrapped 3 copies of my book. and then stood posing those 3 copies! Flashes went on capturing the best moment of my life. I had the widest smile ever on my face. That was the best moment of my life. A book at the age of 26! I had a sense of achievement! I had something that I would be proud of myself for the rest of my life! Joseph sir was the first one to give the speech. He talked about me as his student and then about my book and its characters. After sir, Prashant Karhade gave the speech and then it was my turn to say a few words. The first speech of my life! (giving speeches in school and college was nothing in front of this…) It took me a few seconds to control my smile. I started – “good afternoon to u all…..” (u can watch the video of my speech in a day or two…). The moment I was done with my speech, there was a loud round of applause. Wow!... I could see proud faces, smiling faces, happy faces! I can’t tell you how happy I became when I could see that I had made so many people proud of me.

After my speech was over, Dutta aunty and Patwala uncle said a few kind words that came from the bottom of their heart. Later on, began the Book-signing spree! I can’t tell you how happy I was when I started giving autographs to people. This was the template that I followed:

To XYZ,

With

Best

Wishes….

From,

My signature …

after every autograph, a picture used to be clicked. Wow!.... you had to be there to see how happy I was!..

the following are the links for the pics and video:

1) Photos :

http://picasaweb.google.com/dipenambalia/LaunchOfMyBookINTHEIRSHOES#

2) Videos:

My speech at the launch:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R0RywN0TmYE

Jospeh sir’s introduction:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRugIlpl6AM

The very beginning of the launch:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kL0xyvvE-XQ

All in all, 11^th april 2010 easily became the best day of my life till now. My dream of becoming a writer came true that day.

Social Transformation Through Book…

Normally, we buy a book to unwind ourselves by reading some humorous stuff, or we buy a book to help ourselves by reading some fundas of life by some spiritual guru or someone. Sometimes we read a book to know facts of some event or a personality. In short, every book serves a purpose for which the author and publisher have spent so much time, money and effort on a book. Similarly, I started writing the book – In Their Shoes… - with the intention of ‘opening the eyes’ of my readers to the ordinary people around us. In other words, I want to bring out a social transformation with my book. I know that this statement might seem to be an overstatement. But, that is the truth! Let me explicitly define the purpose that each of my characters or chapters wishes to accomplish:

1) Bindiya – A Drummer’s daughter:

a) Despite all the poverty in life, life can be lived happily if you know what to and how much to expect from life.

b) A 7 yr old girl doesn’t always need a remote-controlled car or a lavish birthday treat at a mall to be happy.

c) Even travelling once in an A/C bus can be a big thing for some people.

d) You can feel proud of your parents even if they are not MDs or CEOs of any big organization.

2) A 24 year old mentally challenged girl:

a) There are very few people on earth who can feel happiness out of the same ‘ordinary’ and ‘mundane’ things happening around us. When was the last time that you took out time to enjoy a sunrise or a sunset?

b) Next time you see a cute puppy running after its mother, observe whether that puppy is just playing with its mother or whether it is running after its mother for the fear of losing her…

c) If God snatches away one sense from us, he makes sure that some other sense strong.

d) Accept the fact that not everyone on earth can calculate “19 X 7” in less than 10 seconds.

e) ‘Being different ‘ is just a relative term.

3) A heart-broken lover boy:

a) If you love or like someone, that doesn’t guarantee you that you would be loved or liked back.

b) If a person doesn’t like you, then you can’t force that person to like you either!

c) One way relationships never work.

d) You should care for those who care for you. Caring for those who don’t care for you is not going to help the either of you.

e) Love is not as simple and straightforward as mathematics! As a normal human being, we always keep searching for the love that evades us. We always keep being restless for things that we don’t have. It is never too late to take stock of what we have in life and be happy with that rather than running after a mirage!

4) Phobic:

a) It is not abnormal to have phobias of water, space, speed, height, etc… TRYING to get rid of such phobias is important.

b) If a person doesn’t react instantly to any threat, that doesn’t mean that he is a coward.

5) 8^th std kid – Vineet:

a) For god’s sake, stop comparing your child with some Vijay or Rahul or Ramesh who score 93/100 in a subject!

b) Try to understand that every child tries his/her best to meet and exceed parents’ expectations. Don’t stress your children too much. You never know when the elastic might snap!

c) Every human being on this has a crush on someone. Some say it early, some say it later, some never say! Which category do you belong to?

d) Try to look at the positives in your child than crib about what your child lacks! Capitalizing on your strengths is more important than crying over deficiencies!

6) A Saadhu Baba:

a) When the philosophy of our life doesn’t match the philosophy of the society around us, we may start think of giving up the materialistic pleasures for the peace and love in the woods and for the pursuit of finding the TRUE SELF.

b) if you are a part of the system, then you have to abide by its rules. If you try to go against the mechanics of the system, you will be thrown out or will be forced to leave the system!

c) Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you are gonna get….

7) A struggling writer:

a) Good things take time and efforts to come by.

b) Having self-belief is THE most important thing when you set out to try something new in life!...

c) When you go off the path to do something new, 99 % of the people will tell you that what you are doing is wrong and foolish. Trust the rest 1% and yourself. You will achieve what you aim for. I can vouch for this fact. In fact, 40 % of the content of this chapter is based on my life!!!

8) A broke 77 year old man living in a 140 sqft hut:

a) We are brought up being told – Give respect to get respect…in other words, before you expect to get something, do learn to give something to the world. But, sadly, this is not how the world works.

b) Sometimes you spend a lifetime, but don’t realise what your fault was which forced you to be best friends with sadness, misery and darkness.

c) Sometimes, strangers give more love than your loved ones.

9) Gatekeeper of Ashabai old age home:

a) Parents are another form of God. Respect them. Love them. Not everyone is lucky to be with the ones they love.

b) Values matter a lot. How you bring up your child is more important than whether he stands first in class or excels in sports or elocution.

c) Invest in relations. This is the best type of investment. You never know which relative might turn up as an angel in your life.

d) The sooner you accept the reality, the more time you will have to enjoy the remaining life.

Why one should read my book- In their shoes…

To help you decide whether you should read this book, please go through following 8 questions. If your answer is “NO” to even one of the questions, then you got to read “In Their Shoes…”

1) Have you ever wondered about the life of an urchin living under a flyover in Mumbai?... have you ever thought of how her daily routine must be?..Have you cared to think how, if she ever attends a wedding with her drummer father, perceives the whole lavish wedding?

2) Most of you must have seen the movie ‘Sadma’ starring Sri Devi and Kamal Hassan. But, after the movie was over, have you ever wondered how difficult or different life of a mentally challenged girl is?... have you ever about how different is ‘achievement’ or ‘dreams’ or ‘happiness’ from what it means to others?

3) Every teenager goes through phases of being in love, being in depression because of rejection, etc. have you ever wondered how it feels when you try your best to make someone happy, but that ‘someone’ doesn’t want to be made happy by you. He/she likes someone else and wants to receive her/his SMS, CALL, and EMAIL…etc…! Have you cared to learn about the lessons from such experiences from life???

4) I am sure that you must have met at least one of your friends or acquaintainces or relatives having fear of water or trains or crowded places or something. Do you know how an extreme phobic would behave?

5) A kid from 8^th std carries at least 8-9 books- class work and homework and journals, etc. every day. He fills unnecessary books like lesson diaries and tries his best to be the come first in the rat-race to be the ‘best’ rat amongst all other rats. Even he hates he is compared to other his peers or seniors or juniors! Have you ever tried to think by being in the shoes of an 8^th kid???

6) Sometime or the other you have must have been to a religious place or must have seen the saadhu babas treading the path of difficult path to salvation… have you ever thought of why he must have thought of giving up the pleasures in life and how he inteprets life?...

7) Whenever we read a book, we may like it or hate it. If we like it, then we say “wow…kya likha hai!!” But, when the book is bad, we curse him/her for writing a useless book. But, have you ever thought how difficult it is to write a book? Have you ever wondered what pain, time and effort goes into making a book? Have you ever thought how difficult it is for an electrical engineer to write a book? (considering the fact that, by societal standards, Engineers are not allowed to be creative!)

8) Till this day we have seen many movies shot at some old age home or the other. The life of an old person is very different at home where he/she is neglected by his/her own children from the life at the old-age home where he/she has the freedom to live the life that he/she wants! Have you wondered how they feel, what they do the whole day and how they keep themselves alive to see the next day?

(I could have put a few more questions, but I knew that my purpose would be solved by the above eight questions!)

A Sample Book Proposal

Dear all, this is a sample book-proposal that might help you if you are a fresher author….







The Name of Book…




By: Author’s name


XYZ Publications








Table of Contents




1) Preface

2) List of Chapters

3) Why one should care to read?

4) Synopsis

5) Why XYZ Publications should publish this book?

6) How can we market the book?

7) 3 stories : a) 1st chapter

b) 2nd chapter

c) 3rd Chapter


8) Acknowledgements

9) My Resume




Preface


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The list of Chapters


1. 1st chapter

2. 2nd chapter

3. 3rd chapter

4. 4th chapter

5. 5th chapter

6. 6th chapter

7. 7th chapter

8. 8th chapter

9. 9th chapter

10. 10th chapter

11. 11th chapter

12. 12th chapter





Why should one care to read?

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Synopsis



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About the author



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Why should XYZ Publications publish this book?



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How can we market the book?




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“Q and A” for my book – In Their Shoes…

1. Hello Dipen, tell us something about 'IN THEIR SHOES...'.

Hi. “In Their Shoes” is an English phrase, which means, ‘from other’s angle’. This book is about how the world looks by being in the shoes of different people such as – a 24 year old mentally challenged girl, an uneducated corrupt politician, a saadhu baba, etc…I have take such 17 different and ordinary characters and have tried to visualize how the world looks like from their angle…

2. How did you think of the concept of this book?

Last February, I attended a wedding of a cousin of mine. In that wedding was a drummer who was playing drums. Along with the drummer was his daughter in a red colored frock. She kept on observing my sister who dressed as beautifully as a fairy; She kept on looking at the stage where the pheraas were going on, She kept looking at the decoration all around, the guests dressed in their best, etc… All this while, I was wondering as what she must be thinking about this whole wedding and that is how I came up with the first character of my book…I then made a list of 25 characters for the book and started visualizing the world from their angle.

3. And in what span did you complete the writing process?

It took me 1 month to make the book proposal and then 3 months to complete the whole book.

4. You must be kidding! You just took 3 months to complete the whole book?

Hahahahahaha..yes… seriously. See, the thing is that people normally believe that writers take at least a year or so to complete a book. I guess it is a myth that a writer HAS to take at least a year to imagine, draft and complete the manuscript. “In Their Shoes…” has 17 different characters. So, all I had to do was to get ‘into the character’ of one character and fully complete that character and then move onto the next character. Being simultaneously in the shoes of 2 or more characters is mentally very draining.

5. But, how was it that you used to write a whole story? I mean, what was the thought process and all behind every story?

That’s a good question. Before starting with any character, I used to spend a lot of time imagining that character. Once that was done, I used to take an imaginary interview of that character. I used to ask questions like “what was the most happiest or depressing moment of your life?” or “what are your dreams?” etc. Then I used to ‘get into that character’ and then try to visualize the world around! That helped me try to understand the psychology of that character very easily.

6. Can you give us any example of that?

Oh sure! Hmm… let me take the example of a character called as “8^th std kid – Vineet”. This is kind of a character that I would like to be if God gives me a chance to rewind my life. The way he behaves in front of Rhea-his crush, the love-letter that he writes, the way he enjoys his life in school, the way he plays pranks on his friends and teachers….all that is what I would like to do if I get a chance to rewind my life!... Ok, so before I started writing “Vineet”, I took an imaginary interview of that naughty character. Along with the naughtiness of that character, I also realized that there are many other serious issues that should be raised – like for example – the Comparison syndrome, the usless lesson diaries that we complete, etc… I have tried my best to touch upon those issues too… I hope the readers understand those points properly…

7. You have highlighted some social problems creatively, with a touch of humor. Did this serious writing, anytime, take a toll on you?

Oh yes!... It’s mentally very tiring to be in some other character and visualize the world around that character. Initially, I was going to write on 25 characters. But, after writing 17 characters, I felt really drained out! I mean, it is very difficult to keep hopping from one shoe to the other and try to FEEL or SEE the world around. There were a few characters that were very easy to write and a few very very difficult to write. For example, I thought of writing a character called as “Saadhu baba”. One day, after coming from office, I sat down to write 6 pages of this character. I kept typing from 11.30 PM to 3.30 AM! I was so much into the character that I could literally see a hut, a dense forest, a stream of clear water flowing beside a hut, the froth getting generated in that stream flowed! I am sure that if I hadn’t stopped writing that character at that point, then I would have gone mad!!! :-D.. One needs to know when to give up on a character! I have tried my best to compare Froth in a stream to the way we live life. The last 3 pages of this character are on different interpretations of life. I hope you like those different perspectives on life…

8. Coming to you, how and when did you take up writing?

I had been blogging since april 2007. But I wasn’t serious about it till last year. The book-writing bug bit me in the start of 2009. In March 2009, I started writing a book (which I might think of publishing if you all accept me as a writer and if my publisher thinks that it is a good book) based on the life of an imaginary Gujarati character. After writing some 100 pages, I circulated it amongst my friends. The response that I got from them was just amazing! I mean, I couldn’t believe that my book would be liked by my friends so much! In a hurry, I made a book proposal and sent it to the top publishers in India. In a week’s time, my work was rejected! I tried to analyze the reason of my first failure. I still believe that the reason of my book getting rejected was that I hadn’t made a good book-proposal. But, one of my friends from office told me that he felt that a serious book would work and that I was good at writing serious stuff. I thought chalo serious book likh ke dekhte hain… Then I spent a week brainstorming over topics. I came up with 5 topics and finalized on “In Their Shoes…”! Since childhood, I have been fascinated by trying to visualize what others keep thinking. Whenever I travel, I look at people around and try to visualize as to what they must be thinking. Do you remember the essay questions in school exams? Out of 4 topics for essay questions, there used to be at least one topic on Autobiography of XYZ (xyz could be anything – Rs. 5 note, a donkey, a horse, a pen, etc.) I always used to attempt Autobiography questions. I somehow had a knack of thinking from others’ angles. After finalizing the topic – In Their Shoes…, I started thinking about the characters on which I would write the book.

9. Do you want to convert your passion into profession? What/Who was the motivation/inspiration behind you taking up the task of book writing?

Sure! I do want to take up writing as a profession. See, in today’s time, I sincerely believe that a person should have a passion or a hobby which he can convert into his main profession by the age of 40 or 45. So, pursue a job out of your qualification and work till the age of 40 or 45. Simultaneously, start nurturing your passion slowly and steadily so that when you are bored of your 9 to 5 job, you can bank upon your passion to sail you through the rest of your life. I am lucky that I tried to take my passion to the next level so early and if my dear readers accept me as a writer, then I would surely like to churn out more books!

10. Lastly, do you want to give any message to your readers?

There is one very simple message that I want to give to my readers. See, if you open a dictionary and try to find the meaning of ‘ordinary‘, you will find it defined as people or things that are normal and not special or different in any way. Simplicity appeals to me a lot. And I feel that ordinary people are simple people. But, the problem with this world is that for you to get noticed by the world, you have to be something great or different. Simplicity simply goes unnoticed. That is why I chose to write on such simple and ordinary characters that we see every day but don‘t ‗observe‘! I want the world to take notice of such simple characters too! Even those ordinary characters have a story to tell; even they have a life that you would be intrigued by; even they have a wish, a few moments of sadness, happiness, many unfulfilled dreams...

The next time you see an ‘ordinary‘ person around you, take a few moments out of your precious time to ‗observe‘ him/her. In short, try to be in their shoes, and be happy that God has at least been more kind to you than majority of the people around you!

If you all accept me as a good writer, then I would like to come up with few more books that have ‗’ordinary‘ characters as the protagonists. I want my book(s) to be

By the ordinary,

For the ordinary

and Of the ordinary!

The Making of the book - In Their Shoes...

The book-writing bug bit me in the start of 2009. I am not trying to blow my own trumpet, but I am more famous amongst my friends for my humour than anything else. So, in March 2009, I started writing a book (which I might think of publishing if you all accept me as a writer and if my publisher thinks that it is a good book) based on the life of an imaginary Gujarati character. After writing some 100 pages, I circulated it amongst my friends. The response that I got from them was just amazing! I mean, I couldn’t believe that my book would be liked by my friends so much! In a hurry, I made a book proposal and sent it to the top publishers in India. In a week’s time, my work was rejected! I tried to analyze the reason of my first failure. I still believe that the reason of my book getting rejected was that I hadn’t made a good book-proposal. But, one of my friends from office told me that he felt that a serious book would work and that I was good at writing serious stuff. I thought chalo serious book likh ke dekhte hain… Then I spent a week brainstorming over topics. I came up with 5 topics and finalized on “In Their Shoes…”! Since childhood, I have been fascinated by trying to visualize what others keep thinking. Whenever I travel, I look at people around and try to visualize as to what they must be thinking. Do you remember the essay questions in school exams? Out of 4 topics for essay questions, there used to be at least one topic on Autobiography of XYZ (xyz could be anything – Rs. 5 note, a donkey, a horse, a pen, etc.) I always used to attempt Autobiography questions. I somehow had a knack of thinking from others’ angles. After finalizing the topic – In Their Shoes…, I started thinking about the characters on which I would write the book. This is how I came up with the characters…:

1) Bindiya – A Drummer’s daughter: Last February, I attended a wedding of a cousin of mine. In that wedding was a drummer who was playing drums on the arrival of the groom’s family. Along with the drummer was his daughter in a red coloured frock. She kept on observing my sister who dressed as beautifully as a fairy; She kept on looking at the stage where the Feraas were going on, She kept looking at the decoration all around, the guests dressed in their best, etc… All this while, I was observing her. Then I thought, why not try to visualize what she must be thinking about the whole wedding and that is how I came up with the first character of my book…

2) A 24 year old mentally challenged girl: This character was more like a creative challenge for me. There was no basis of selecting this character.

3) A heart-broken lover boy: A few months ago, one of my very good friends got dumped by his girlfriend. He was in a state of depression for at least a month or so. Then, I thought- why not have ‘a heart-broken lover boy’ as a character in my book! Then I thought of a story for the character! This is how I came up with the character – a heart-broken lover boy!

4) Phobic: A phobic is a person who has a lot of phobias. This is a character that we don’t normally see in everyday life. A phobic is an abstract character. For this book, I wanted to have a few characters which are ordinary but not normally seen or observed! I am afraid of dogs, high speed, height, etc… so I thought, lemme extend this list of phobias and insert a few incidences around the character and then try to show why and how the character is not able to get rid of phobias!

5) 8^th std kid – Vineet : Last Diwali, Minal - one of my friends- wanted me to write an essay on DIWALI. That essay was supposed to be written by her 5 year-old daughter. Minal said to me “Dipen, Shruti ko school mein bola hai ki ‘Diwali’ pe 10 lines ka essay likho. Tu likh ke de.” My initial reaction was – would I be able to think from a 5 year-old school kid’s angle? But then I tried that and I think I did a good job in writing the essay on ‘Diwali’ by being in the shoes of a 5 yr-old school kid. That is when I thought – hey, why not have a naughty school kid as one of characters for my book! So, I started writing on an 8^th std. kid-Vineet! To tell you the truth, 8^th std kid – Vineet is a kind of a character that I would like to be if God gives me a chance to visit my childhood again! The way he behaves in front of Rhea-his crush, the love-letter that he writes, the way he enjoys his life in school, the way he plays pranks on his friends and teachers….all that is what I would like to do if I get a chance to rewind my life!...

6) A Saadhu Baba: Recently I had written a blog called as “life is…”. This blog was kind of philosophical. The content in that blog was kind of what a Saadhu Baba would say in one of his sermons! So, I thought – why not have a Saadhu Baba as a character in the book! I found this topic the toughest to write on. One day, after coming from office, I sat down to write 6 pages of this character. I kept typing from 11.30 PM to 3.30 AM! I was so much into the character that I could literally see a hut, a dense forest, a stream of clear water flowing beside a hut, the froth getting generated in that stream flowed! I am sure that if I hadn’t stopped writing that character at that point, then I would have gone mad!!! :-D.. I have tried my best to compare Froth in a stream to the way we live life. The last 3 pages of this character are on different interpretations of life. I hope you like those different perspectives on life…

7) A struggling writer: Around 30 % of this character has reflection of my life in it. I have struggled a lot to see my book shape up in the way it has now. I had a strong self-belief that I would succeed in what I tried to venture. I mean, an electrical engineer writing a book was not very easy for all my near and dear ones to digest! Writing blogs was OK, but they had never thought that I could write a book. I am sure that every person who wants some motivation or push to achieve his/her goals should read this chapter.

8) A broke 77 year old man living in a 140 sqft hut: I clearly remember the date – 17 December 1998. There was a short-story competition in my junior college – Birla College. I was in 11^th std then. I had written a story called as “Help Us”. I had tried to show the life of old parents who love their son but then in their old age, they are thrown out of the house and life of their eklautaa son. So the character – a broke 77 yr old man living in a 140 sqft hut- is a better version of the story written 11.5 years ago!!!

9) Gatekeeper of Ashabai old age home: After writing a chapter on 77 yr old man, I thought – lemme try to visualize how life in an old age home would be! This story teaches you many things related to relations, life, etc…

10) A regular commuter of a local train in Mumbai: My routine consists of:

1) waking up at 8.00 AM and getting ready for office.

2) leaving home at 9.20 to catch the 9.55 local from platform 1 A.

3) struggling for a rikshaw to reach Kalyan station at 9.35 or 9.40

4) going to Dadar and then catching a Malad fast local, getting down at Goregaon and reaching office at 12.10 PM!

The life of an ordinary Mumbaikar is the same as what has been mentioned above. Just prepone the hours by 2 or 3 or 4 or 5..! In one day, 69 lakh Mumbaikars use railways as their means of transport (which is like saying that one-third of the population of Australia uses Mumbai railways as their means of transport). I am just one of them. So, the character - a regular commuter of a local train in Mumbai- is what will give you a glimpse of the life of an average Mumbaikar!

11) A tantrik: Have you ever travelled in local trains in Mumbai or been to a public toilet in Mumbai? If yes, then I am sure you must have seen Advertisements of tantriks! These tantriks claim to solve your problems in just 7 hours! And that too with guarantee card! If you haven’t been to Mumbai, then make sure that you visit Mumbai just to see those Ads! The numbers of Ads that they give in trains made me feel that there must be demand of such tantriks, which in short means that there are people who are gullible enough to believe such thugs! So, I thought of having a TANTRIK as one of the characters of my book!

12) An uneducated corrupt politician: I have the same feeling towards uneducated corrupt politicians as does any educated Indian. Educated people keep on cursing the uneducated corrupt politicians and keep blaming the system for its inefficiency! So, I thought – lemme try to think from AN UNEDUCATED CORRUPT POLITICIAN’s angle and then see how cunning can such a character be! I have tried my best to show the cunning side of an uneducated corrupt politician. I just hope my purpose of writing this character gets fulfilled! (I am sure that you must have understood my purpose of writing this character!)

13) A contemporary news reporter: A few months ago, there was some channel which showed that Aliens adore Himesh Reshamiyaa’s music! Aliens are fond of cows and so they pick up the cows at night!..hahahahhah… I mean, what is this!!!! So, I wondered what makes them come up with such news and that is how I came up with this character – A contemporary news reporter!

14) A visually challenged person: The other day when I was travelling in train, one visually challenged old man was selling key-chains. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. I kept thinking as to how he must be spending his whole day without vision and money. I mean, even after getting a good salary, I do crib sometimes! But this old man had nothing except a liability of selling the assigned number of key-chains! That is when I thought of having “A Visually challenged person” as one of the characters of my book.

15) An engineering student: I am an electrical engineer. So, this topic was but obvious! According to me, it was the simplest of all topics to write on!

16) A frustrated software developer: I work in a software company. So, even this topic was easy to write on. The tips which I have offered in the chapter have been tried N number of times!

Weddings in India…

2 months ago I had been to Gujarat to attend my cousin’s wedding. After the wedding was over, I kept thinking about weddings in general…this is what I could think of…

I feel that weddings are:

1) A good platform for finding life-partners: The day a girl turns 20 or the day a boy turns 22, she or he is made to attend as many weddings as possible so that she/he can be made visible in the wedding-market! Normally, the people in their 50s attend as many weddings as possible to find out prospective son-in-law or daughter-in-law for themselves! I remember the day I turned 21. I attended wedding of one of my cousins. There were so many unknown uncles who kept on asking “what is your salary?...where do u work?... do you have brother or sister?”…Of course, there is nothing wrong in considering wedding as a platform for finding life-partner. One of my very good friends from VJTI found his life partner in his friend’s wedding. He liked a girl, they talked, exchanged numbers and 2 months later they got engaged! So, in a way, weddings in India are a good platform for finding life-partners!

2) A good place to flaunt your money: There is no doubt that this is the world of “if you got it, you flaunt it”. This is true especially as far as money is concerned. Marriages are supposed to be one-time thing in one’s life. So, it is like, we don’t mind spending a lot on such an event. And on the top of it, if you are a millionaire, then for sure, you are gonna grab the eye-balls of the TV-viewers or Newspaper-readers! Take an example of Liz Hurley and Arun Nayyar!!.. (I remember that wedding more because of Liz Hurley than anything else :D..)

3) A good place to showcase your power: I don’t think you must not have heard of weddings being stalled because the girl’s family was not able to give the dowry that was demanded of them! This normally happens in villages. Wedding is one occasion where the boy’s family makes sure to show ki unka Audaa kitna hai!! Also, the more educated the groom is, the higher is the figure of the dowry. If a software engineer gets a dowry of Rs. 50 lakhs, then an IAS groom would get somewhere around 1 to 2 crore..!! (this is what I have heard..not sure though…)

4) A good time to have a reunion: Try to recollect the childhood days when we used to be so happy when we were told” this May, we are going to native place to attend XYZ’s wedding.” Of course we are happy that XYZ is getting married; but more of the excitement is for the fact that we will get a chance to meet all our cousins, uncles, aunties, etc..! So, in short, weddings in India are more of a reunion of all families than anything else! I like the excitement that covers the whole event. The sweet kids playing around, the excitement amongst the elders to be with the children of their nephews and nieces, the happiness in the face of the bride that she is going to spend the rest of her life with the person whom she has chosen to be with….

5) A good place to crib: Amongst all the happiness and fun, there would be an iota of people who would just crib about the things around. They would pick on things as small as “daal mein namak kam tha, poori mein tel kitna tha, ladki kitni moti hai, ladke kaan to dekho, hall kitna purana hai, kitni garmi hai, A/C ka bhi intazam nahi hai, etc.” It is like, however perfect you try to be, you would never be able to satisfy this lot of Cribbers!

6) A good place to observe people: I feel that weddings are a perfect place to witness many emotions under one roof.

1) Happiness: kids and all…etc as I have explained in point 4

2) Dissatisfaction: as explained in point 5

3) Jealousy: Let’s assume that the bride is very beautiful and the groom is OK types. If you had a secret microphone placed at every place in the hall, then surely you would hear boy say things like “ languor ke haath mein angoor…” or “kya misfit hai be... wo bandi itni babe, aur banda itna stupid dikhta hai… us se to accha mai hun… bhagwaan bhi naa …!”. Now, let’s assume that the groom is very handsome and bride is OK types. You would hear girls say “ naseeb leke paida hui hai wo bandi… muj mein kya kharabi thi…huhh!!” or “kaash mai us bande ko pehle mili hoti..!..aaj mai wahan khadi hoti uske baaju mein..aur hamaari Jodi kitni acchi lagti!” (Wedding is the event when the parents of the groom and bride should order “Surakhsha Kavach” from Tele-shopping!hahahahhaha…. )

4) Plots for writing stories or books: I can vouch for this point because I got my inspiration of the book “in their shoes…” after attending a wedding of a cousin of mine. In the wedding was this drummer who was playing drums when the groom’s family and entered the hall. Alongwith the drummer was his daughter in a red frock. She kept on observing my sister dressed as beautifully as a fairy; She kept on looking at the stage where the Feraas were going on, She kept looking at the decoration all around, the guests dressed in their best, etc… All this while, I was observing her. Then I thought, why not try to visualize what she must be thinking about the whole wedding and that is how I came up with my book “In their Shoes…” The first character of my book is Bindiya-a Drummer’s daughter…! Thanks to her that I am gonna be a writer soon!!!

Made-to-Order…

Last week one of my friends was buying a laptop from DELL’s website. DELL gives you the option to customize the laptop i.e if you want a higher RAM, you can do so by paying some extra amount. In short you get a “Made To Order” laptop!... I was wondering what if everything in this world was made-to-order!!!!!... I thought of a few things that I would like to have made-to-order –

1) Girlfriend : last week I was having dinner with one of my friends. She asked me “Dipen, tuje kaisi type ki ladki chaiye life mein?” I said “a cute, sweet, soft-spoken, curly-haired non-gujurati doctor”. She asked “itni saaari ladkiyan chaiye?? Ye sab qualities ek mein milna to bahut mushkil hai J.” Then I wondered if I was asking for a lot! I mean, what if God gives us what we exactly want! What if God gives us an option to have a life-partner who is made-to-order! I think that would be the best possible thing in our life. If such a thing happens then:

a) The number of extra-marital affairs will reduce drastically.

b) There will be lesser number of quarrels over petty matters and that would lead to more happiness in marital life.

c) Kids will be not be exposed to domestic violence.

d) There will be lesser number of suicides, killings over dowry, etc.

2) Parents: A few months ago I had written a blog called as “comparison-syndrome”. That blog had come straight from my heart because I face comparisons day in and day out! Every day my mom keeps saying “uska pagar dekh aur tera pagar dekh…. wo kitna patla hai aur tu kitna mota hai…wo….tu….”…!!! at those times I get so frustrated that in my next birth, I would want to ask God to give me made-to-order parents! I know that you must be feeling ki ye kitna besharam beta hai, but try to be in my shoes and you will understand my point. Taunts, comparisons are OK if they are thrown at you sometimes. If that becomes a habit, then it screws your brain! Don’t you think so?...

3) Job and Salary: As far as job is concerned, I feel that hardly anyone is happy with his/her job and salary. Even if at one time we get a satisfaction in job profile, it is very difficult to get a satisfaction in salary. Jitna bhi mile, kam hi lagega! The increase in salary looks good or satisfying for the first few months. Later on we start sulking again” kya yaaar…pagar hai ki majak hai .hatttt re”..!!!

Friends are what we choose consciously, so I don’t think we need to have friends “made-to-order”. Otherwise, the above mentioned point and few others that I could not think of , made me feel that god should give us an option to have things “made-to-order” in life!!!!

Life is.....

In my zest to analyse things, I thought let me try to analyse life… here is my interpretation….


Life is like chess….

Sometimes you do need to take a few steps back and analyse the situation and then take the necessary forward steps…


Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are gonna get….

Every next moment is so damn unpredictable. You can never be sure what fate has in store for you in the next moment. You might be happy your mediocre job and suddenly you might be a winner of a rs.5 crore lottery because of one rs.10 ticket you bought casually…

Life is not a fairy tale…

Optimism is considered to be a good way of life. I agree to it only to a certain extent. Optimism leads us to think only of rosy situations in life. Sometimes we tend to get too much swayed away by rosy imagination that we forget that the real world is not that conducive to achieve what we want in life. When I was in college, even I used to dream of IIMs. I used to think that since I am from VJTI, I can achieve anything that I set my eyes on. But NO. That was not the case. I took CAT 3 times, but still couldn’t get enough marks to into any IIM… I had to accept the fact that I was not cut out for any IIM… so, I say, life is not a fairy tale… you wouldn’t get anything and everything that you set your eyes on… it’s very necessary to have a back-up plan in life…. There is a dialogue in the movie TEEN DEEWAREIN – “life mein hamesha, ek choti si, teesri gali khuli honi chaiye”… I surely believe in that!!!!



Life is not about being the best or perfect….

Aamir khan is always praised for being a perfectionist. I agree he is. And he needs to be perfect if he wants a good work product. But, in life, I really feel that one should not strive for perfection. Life is not about being perfect. The day you start becoming obsessive about being perfect in anything you do, you will stop enjoying the small pleasures in achieving a target. One can even reach a stage where hunger for being a perfectionist can lead to schizoprehenic behavior because in the process of being perfect, one would tend to be not realistic and keep burning oneself to the extreme and then one day, crumble under pressure… don’t try to test the elasticity of life… you never know you might snap because of zest for being perfectionist…


Life is not about comparisons.….

Living a peaceful life is a blessing that not everyone gets in life. One should realize that happiness, sadness, success, etc are different for different people. Lives CANNOT be compared. Every human being is a different entity. Please don’t compare yourself with others; otherwise you would end up being unsatisfied in life. I have seen so many instances of comparisons that I can vouch for the fact atleast 30 % of suicides are because of bloody, fucking comparisons!!!!! Comparisons with peers, junior regarding achievements, salary, looks, talent, blah blah blah...!!!!! oh fuck!.. my brains are totally fucked up because of comparisons!!!!!!! Now I am so averse to comparisons that I cannot stand even one line of comparison….

Life is like Railway line made of up various stations…

From kalyan to CST, there are around 25 stations. People board the train from kalyan and get down at respective stations to go for work or for whatever reasons. Similarly, life is made of a number of stations. You need to know what you want in life and then get down at the right station at the right time… Getting down at the right time and station is all that matters in life to achieve what you want... so, first determine what you want in life and then alight at the right station….

Life is not a book of guidelines….

Many of us are brought up being told that “you do X to achieve Y” or “you don’t o this because that line is not safe or xyz…”. Till teenage, listening to others is OK. But when you understand what you want in life and how you will achieve that in life, throw the gloves in the air, untie yourself from all the society-accepted norms and do what makes you happy.. (disclaimer : you shld know what is wrong or right for you :-D…). in short, life is not a guide-book that has to be followed rule-by-rule!...

Theory of Relativity – SADNESS!

Since childhood I had this desire of coming up with my own theories on something. This blog has helped me do so.

So here is a small attempt to dissect my theory of relativity. Happiness, Success, sadness, satisfaction, frustration, love, sense of achievement, etc are so RELATIVE terms! I mean, these terms hold so different meaning for different people. Let me try to touch upon SADNESS in this post…

Character	What SADNESS means to him/her
Bindiya- a drummer’s daughter	1) while playing Lagori, not being able to hit the pile of Chippis even after 5 attempts! 2) being just a mute spectator while her parents are fighting over a bowl of uncooked rice. 3) not being able to absorb the death of her beloved stray dog – Moti. 4) not being able to do anything when her father arrives home in a drunken state and creates chaos forcing her mom to sleep outside the hut made of tin and asbestos.
24 year old mentally challenged girl	1) missing her favorite cartoon on TV. 2) not being able to win a running competition even when she knew she could have easily won. 3)her mumma scolding her for the first time in front of guests. 4) not getting a surprise gift that she had expected on her birthday.
77 yr old man thrown out of his own house	1) not being able to see the sky clearly, wherein he used to search for the brightest star who he considered his wife. 2) getting more care and love from strangers than from his own children. 3) not being able to gather enough courage to end his life. 4) contracting one more disease to the already long list of ailments he is suffering from.
Bar girl	1) being caught in a police-raid and not having enough money to free herself from jail! 2) the bar where was working, that gets shut down for some reason. 3) being cheated of a huge assured sum for one night…
8th std student Vineet	1) not being able to win the heart of the girl that he likes. 2) not being able to make his parents understand that he should not be compared with anyone and that he is tired of being compared to apples and oranges.. 3) not being able to help his friend in need.
Construction labourer	1) not getting wages since last one week. 2) collapse of 2 recently built floors and being made responsible for that event. 3) not being financially capable to get himself treated for a fever that he has been trying to avoid since last 15 days and that eventually leads to worsening of health.
A software developer	1) working on a project and then boss taking all the credit.! 2) losing job in times of recession..
A rickshaw driver	1) rickshaw being sabotaged in a riot. 2) being hit badly by a group of bikers for no falut of his..! 3) not being able to earn enough money to pay his monthly installment of rickshaw.

Btw, few of the above mentioned characters are the characters of my forthcoming book called as “Being In Their Shoes…” (I m thinking of renaming it to “Through their eyes”..lets c…)

Theory of Relativity-Success…

Since childhood I had this desire of coming up with my own theories on something. This blog has helped me do so.

So here is a small attempt to dissect my theory of relativity. Happiness, Success, sadness, satisfaction, frustration, love, sense of achievement, etc are so RELATIVE terms! I mean, these terms hold so different meaning for different people. Let me try to touch upon SUCCESS in this post…

Character	What SUCCESS means to him/her
Bindiya- a drummer’s daughter	1) while playing Lagori, being able to break the pile of Chippis fall with just one shot! 2) being able to play her father’s drums in such a way that her parents smile at her and say “ accha bajaya”… 3) being able to make a round chapatti while helping her mother with household chores..
24 year old mentally challenged girl	1) solving a maths problem that no one else in the class could solve. 2) winning a car race on computer. 3) making a drawing that her mom and dad can’t stop praising.
77 yr old man thrown out of his own house	1) being able to live through the day without taking anybody’s help. 2) not thinking about suicide. 3)being able to make neighbours’s kids happy by telling them short stories and getting a cup of tea or a plate of Poha to eat.
Bar girl	1) getting the maximum number of customers on that day! 2) getting an offer of more than rs.20000 for one night. 3) seeing her child top the class…
8th std student Vineet	1) getting a smile from the girl he likes 2) being able to beat his opponent in all the subjects. 3) his parents telling their friends about how brave, studious and handsome their son is!
Construction labourer	1) getting wages of that day on time. 2) completion of one floor. 3) getting a compliment from his boss that he will be promoted to the post of Supervisor.
A beggar sitting on the foot-over-bridge of platform	1) being able to gather more than rs.30 the whole day. 2) god listening to her prayers and making a generous boy shell out a Rs.10 ka note because of some reason which made him happy. 4) waking up in the morning to find 2 packets of biscuits by side.
A software developer	1) an ONSITE opportunity 2) getting a promotion 3)being assigned as a lead to lead a team of 3 beautiful female developers!
A rickshaw driver	1) a long-distance fare from Mulund to Borivli 2) Being able to impress the bar girl whom he drops everyday from home to hotel! 3) getting good advice from a fellow passenger regarding education for his children.
An ultra-rich man	1) a new business deal 2) getting an “company of the year” award. 3) getting his son or daughter admitted to Stanford or Kelloggs for education after 12th!

Btw, few of the above mentioned characters are the characters of my forthcoming book called as “Being In Their Shoes…” (I m thinking of renaming it to “Through their eyes”..lets c…)

Theory of Relativity- Happiness…

Since childhood I had this desire of coming up with my own theories on something. This blog has helped me do so.
So here is a small attempt to dissect my theory of relativity. Happiness, sadness, satisfaction, frustration, love, sense of achievement, etc are so RELATIVE terms! I mean, these terms hold so different meaning for different people. Let me try to touch upon HAPPINESS in this post…

Character	What HAPPINESS means to him/her
Bindiya- a drummer’s daughter	1) Receiving a small toy from her mother 2) her dad taking her to a wedding ceremony where he is going to play drums 3) having a delicious lunch at a wedding ceremony and eating till she burps 10 times! 4) travelling with her dad in an A/C bus
24 year old mentally challenged girl	1) a kiss from her mom and dad 2) her teacher giving her a chocolate for solving a maths problem 3) a new toy from her best friend
77 yr old man thrown out of his own house	1) love from small kids calling him “nana”.. 2) 2 meals a day 3) affection from neighbours who empathise with him
Bar girl	1) more customers on that day 2) a crazy businessman showering notes of Rs.1000 or rs. 500 on her.. 3) no clashes at home 4) seeing a smile on her baby’s face and dreaming that her baby will not follow her footsteps !...
8th std student Vineet	1) a smile from the girl he likes 2) teacher making him stand in front of the whole class so that he can see her girlfriend more clearly 3) getting an A + in his favorite subject
Construction labourer	1) getting wages of that day on time. 2) playing with his baby and assuring himself that his hard work will surely not let his baby follow his life footprints. 3) not getting injured while doing construction on that day.
A beggar sitting on the foot-over-bridge of platform	1) getting a packet of parleG 2) TC and Havaldar not caring to shoo them away from their place. 3) a generous boy shelling out a Rs.10 ka note because of some reason which made him happy 4) waking up in the morning to find 2 packets of biscuits by side.
A software developer	1) an ONSITE opportunity 2) an increment more than his colleagues 3) a new babe in his team
A rickshaw driver	1) a long-distance fare from Mulund to Borivli 2) release of a film starring “Himesh Reshamiya” 3) decrease in the rates of petrol
An ultra-rich man	1) a new business deal 2) a big loss in his competitors’ business.

Btw, few of the above mentioned characters are the characters of my forthcoming book called as “Being In Their Shoes…” (I m thinking of renaming it to “Through their eyes”..lets c…)

Depression

As we all know, Depression is a condition wherein start feeling low in life, start doubting our own capabilities, start hating the person or the situation for making us feel sad and so dejected that we tend to de-value self.


As far as I recollect, I have been in depression for some 4-5 times in life… every time for a different reason.

Yesterday I was depressed for one reason which a normal teenager goes through. While travelling back to home, I was sitting on the window seat. I had my bag on my lap. This was the first time in last 1.5 years that I wasn’t listening songs on my IPOD. I was just feeling the cold breeze and staring at the stations, people, trees, buildings, and almost anything that came in front of my eyes. I could feel the gravity of earth acting heavily on me. Even if a TC had come to check my railway PASS, I don’t think I would have had the energy to take the wallet out and show him the PASS.

But, somehow, somewhere deep down in my heart, I was so happy that she came to meet me and clear out the things. Otherwise, she could have abruptly rejected my feelings and not cared to explain me the things. But then, she cared to coax me. She cared to dissect the whole situation. And, I swear by god, I now have immense respect for her. Of course, she is now just a normal friend for me. But, yes, a great respect is what I have for her now. The sweetest thing about her was that she didn’t want me to be alone, sitting on the MD. So she said that wanted to eat and then we parted after having dinner. Parted, only to be in touch as good friends. And yes, I am happy to have a sincerely sweet friend like her. I wish she gets a nice life partner that she deserves….

Sometimes, we take “being happy” for granted to so much extent that we don’t realise the importance of being happy. Seriously, I keep cracking jokes the whole day. I keep laughing the whole day. But, I had never realised that I should consider myself so lucky that I am happy the whole day. I mean, its like, you don’t FEEL the significance of being happy throughout the day. Depression makes you realise the importance of being happy.


There are many more things that depression teaches you:

1) Human nature.

2) If you love or like someone, that doesn’t guarntee you that you would be loved or liked back.

3) You start accepting things that never would have thought you would be able to digest. I mean, if a person doesn’t like, then you can’t force that person to like you.

4) You start realising the importance of the people who love you. You start valuing the affection or love that your loved ones shower on you.

5) You start beliving in the phrase “ being happy is not the only thing in life”!!!

6) You start valuing old songs...

7) You don’t want to, but even then, you are forced to belive in “jo hota hai acche ke liye hota hai”….

8)  Never love a person so much that he or she takes ur love for granted and then loses respect for u !!!!! (thiis is the most basic mistake that human beings do... not controlling ur feelings...and losing ur self-respect becuase u are so much in love.....)


All in all, depression, to a certain extent, calms you down and tells you to value ur happiness!!!!! That’s why, I say, get into depression sometimes!!! :-D…